Trying To Save This Blog!

So, I do another pointless post.

Salvage

Post

If you come here first, check order of volumes

http://vergilxanon.blogspot.com/2010/10/xanon-chronicles.html

This is the 3rd book of series

Life With Thanatos

Life With Thanatos



Introduction







Hello again. Donn Ui’Midir is back with further insanity, just like I’d promised.

Anyway, in the last story I left us all on our favourite couch, finding out that the long lost love of my life had been with me, right under my nose for most of the time that I’ve been on Tech Duinn.

Well, considering Keith-Thanatos was a bit taller than me, I was actually under his nose, but whatever.

So, what state was I in, on finding this information? Ecstatic? Enraptured? Delirious to the point of complete derangement?! Elated? Frenzied? Wigged out? Exalted? Tickled pink?

Oh I don’t know. I can’t think of wording strong enough to describe it. There’s nothing in the language of any tongue on Earth to define my state.

Let’s just say I was VERY, very, happy!































Chapter 1





One of the first things that happened after Keith got back, was another room was added to the castle, under the direction of Keith. It was a small room with three fireplaces that would always be burning, like the one in front of the couch we just got off of, and in the middle of it was a circular sofa to seat five, surrounding a small round table of black marble. It would be the new indoor meeting place to discuss matters of importance. It was much more intimate and cozy than any other room in the castle, and down we sat. Stefan, me, Keith, Macha and Kevin (He was in the masculine at the moment, for Macha.), was the order of the present seating arrangement.

“So, now what?” I asked, pressing myself into Keith. Gods, I felt like I never wanted to be apart from him again.

He put an arm around me, and ran his free index finger down my nose. He sent me nonverbally, ‘After this, I’ve got to take you Astral.’ I smiled, and Keith, looking us all over, asked aloud, “So, should I tell you, or ask you all what you concurrently want?”

Stefan said, “Why not tell us, in this case.” It was in our nature to prefer to ask the questions first, most of the time.

Keith winked at him. “Thanks. There is one thing you all want, but I don’t know if it’s a wise idea to grant your guys’ wish right now, being the consequences of separation from your desire would be very painful, and none of you is absolutely ready for the final transition at the moment, and granting that wish might instigate a postponement of the outcome of what is to be.” Yes, he actually said it like that!

“If everyone else is thinking about The White City, what Keith says is true,” said Macha. “I really do want to go back to it, but the pain I felt on coming back here was pretty bad, and it was bad enough to make me not want to feel it again at any price.” She hesitated. “I’m the farthest away from the lot of us from attaining the proper state of evolution to live there, aren’t I?” she asked Keith.

“I am talking about The White City, and what you say is true, Macha,” said Keith, as he stroked her hair, and put his other arm around her. “Kevin is the only borderline case here ready for transfer, and Donn isn’t too far behind. You and Stefan have the most issues to deal with. Maybe you two should start reading everything Alan Watts ever wrote, and really start trying to think like that.”

“That’s new to me,” I said. “I thought I was a basketcase.”

“Yes, but a basketcase with his heart in the right place,” said Keith.

“Watts! I forgot about him! I’ve been meaning to get his books forever when I lived on Earth, but I just never got around to it!” said Stefan.

“Start with ‘The Spirit of Zen.’” said Keith. “Both you and Macha.”

Macha looked at Stefan. “Stef, shall we walk to the library after this?”

“I’d love to.”

Keith looked first at me, then at Macha. “You know, hanging around you guys with my memories of Macha’s Keith, corrupted me thoroughly. I actually want a cup of creamed jasmine tea. Now which one of you shall I let go of?”

Stefan smiled at Keith. “You are a shape shifter. Couldn’t you just keep a hold of both of them, and grow a prehensile tail, to hold your cup?”

Keith sighed. “That is such a brilliant idea, Stefan. Absolutely NOT!”

That exchange got us chuckling slightly. I put my arm around Keith. “You can let go of me for a while,” I said.

He kissed me on the temple, and unwrapped his left arm from around me. “Thanks.” A cup of tea appeared in his hand, and in a short while, everyone was holding a cup of their present favourite brew.

“I love these tea parties,” said Stefan.

“Don’t we all?” asked Kevin.

“We have enough of them, but they do a damned good job of bringing us closer together,” I said.

Keith raised his cup. “Indeed.”



*****



The Astral merging with Keith was absolutely wonderful. There was additional shared knowledge, the intensest love imaginable, and Keith bestowed many of his experiences regarding personal evolution onto me.

My questions on why Macha’s Keith hadn’t shared his information was simply based on Keith’s former policy of no interference with anyone’s else’s evolution unless it was critical, which was not shared by the original ‘Thanatos’. ‘Thanatos’ thought that we all had spent enough time on Tech Duinn, and it was time to get off. Kevin, who’d been working on personal evolution since he was a young teenager, was almost ready, Thanatos even said so, and like Hell ‘Thanatos’, I mean our present ‘Keith’ was going to let us go one at a time.

We were ‘family’! A very strange, contrived family, but family, nevertheless! Interplaner, interspecies, but who cared? The disappearance of any one of us, equines or cat included, would have left an incredibly painful void in all of us, not that that was going to happen. Keith would make damn sure we would all stay together.

Yeah, there is no time, but from when I initially came to Tech Duinn, and from the here and now, according to when we adopted Kyle/Stefan and Kevin/Kevalyn, the moment I’ve been waiting for around twenty millennia; according to the illusory Earth concept of time, has finally arrived. Together again with my beloved Thanatos, by any other name, only with both of us being aware of it now! Our Astral make-out session was about as heavenly as they came, and this time, we did not blow apart, but we simply drifted into our own energy fields. It was the sweetest, gentlest merging I’d ever experienced, and I wasn’t aware that our type of parting was even possible.

Keith landed us on our old favourite couch with the perpetually burning fireplace. I passed out with a smile on my face, and Keith stayed with me for a while.

A while. He had other matters to attend to.



*****



Kevin had gone off to practise guitar, and Macha and Stefan had walked to the library, hand in hand. They were standing in front of the Watts collection. “Sheesh!” said Stefan. “What did he do? Write a hundred books in his short life?”

“Seems like it. Gods! You know, I almost wish I hadn’t gotten Keith and Thanatos reintegrated,” said Macha.

“I think it’s beautiful. Why?”

“Now I live with the two sexiest men in existence, and both of them are avowed celibates.”

Stefan shrugged. “I can live with it, though I gotta admit your Keith was something else.”

“Yes, Neuter-boy the Second, you can live with it. I’m not willing to do to myself what you did to yourself, though. Thank the gods for Kevin.”

Stefan chuckled. “You must have trained Kev pretty good, because that one time that Keith and me had a physically intimate encounter, Kevin couldn’t hold a candle to Keith, but Kevin hadn’t had your guidance, yet.”

“You also didn’t get the stoic lover with Keith that I had to deal with toward the end, no doubt.”

“He was more dignified than could be imagined, under the circumstances. The way he moved, and what he did and didn’t do defied reality, but I wouldn’t have called him stoic. Then again, I never issued any challenges on trying to break him down.”

“How can you just mentally let him go, like that? After a taste on what he can deliver?”

Stefan shrugged. “In a way it’s a bitch, but I guess I just have to face reality, and I have to admit his psychic love is deeper, longer lasting, and more intense. Anyway, I’ve been having my way with him platonically, forever. I had to get used to that being enough. The backrubs, and the snogging sessions?! Those will go on for all eternity, I imagine. Or until we no longer have anything that resembles a body, anyway.”

Macha found the book, and pulled it off the shelf. She closed her eyes, materialised another copy, and gave it to Stefan. “No doubt.”

Stefan chuckled. “Macha!”

“Yes, my dear?”

“And if I ever end up dwelling on those memories of what I had with Keith, and am in danger of losing my sanity, couldn’t I just ask to borrow either you or Kevin?” Stefan himself didn’t know whether or not he was serious.

Macha pointed at him, tilted her head, and gave him a smile of her own. “I’ll probably take you up on that if you do, and you’d better be willing to do just about anything, or face the consequences.. whatever those might be.”

“I don’t think I want to know.” He held up his copy of the book. “Shall we read this separately, or together?”

“Let’s go our own way, and talk about it later."

“OK.”

They both went to their rooms.



*****



Keith was on the ice, in white bellbottoms, a white, silk, loose-sleeved pirate shirt, and a few white sashes and scarves tied to his belt. He brought his arms up before himself, lowered his hands and crossed his wrists before his face, then spread his arms out as he brought his hands down to his chest. As he proceeded to cross his forearms across his chest from there, he went into a spin that was so fast, he might as well have been a holographic column.

Keith was skating like the metaphysical creature he was, and not like a mortal, which is what I did. He skated with no constraints or limitations, so he’d be doing things that were physically impossible. Switching directions of an axel in midair was one, and there were other moves very impressive, that although theoretically possible, might have caused some shattered bones in a person if they’d been executed by a mortal!

With his grace, agility, flexibility, interplaner transfers and time manipulation, he put on a show that couldn’t be surpassed, though he was solely his own audience.

Keith didn’t use the sound system. The Snow Ghost ice-danced in silence, for now. He wouldn’t let anyone know skating had become one of his hobbies, until Macha could stand to watch him without her lust meter exploding over the top, or without Stefan further deifying him.

Like me, Keith went into various routines that included Eastern dance moves from Ceylon, Siam, and Java, among other things. He flowed like a drop of oil moving to the top of a glass of vinegar. He made a king cobra seem graceless.

After a while, he finished his session up with an aerial, landing with one knee millimeters to the ice, and his other leg bent before him, arms outstretched, and head thrown back. His fangs were bared in an ecstatic smile. Ye gods, he understood how I got to be addicted to the ‘sport.’







Chapter 2





Though he didn’t really need to, Stefan read the book twice. He then rigged up a rather quiet electrical generator in the hall, materialised an electric blanket, killed the fireplace, killed all the torches, got the room into the most sensory deprived state he could, stripped, went as personally sensate to everything possible (Don’t ask! Stefan was just being Stefan), got under the covers, went into a meditative state, and eventually achieved what he’d never achieved before.

First Stefan got to the point where he where he felt weightless, then he couldn’t feel himself at all, and then he was barely aware of his own breathing, which he’d adopted for the purpose of meditation. No problem. He’d gotten to this state hundreds of times in the past, even as the mortal named Kyle. What was new, was that he FINALLY managed to turn off the ‘internal dialogue;’ as Carlos Castaneda called it, for more than a minute or two.

‘Forgive! Forgive self, and forgive all others! You are nothing, you are everything. You need no one, and you need nothing! You are self-contained, and can obligate no one to you. Love all. Exist unconditionally, and come HOME to where you belong. Source! You are ME, and I am you! Everything is perfect. There are no mistakes, only lessons. DETACHMENT! PEACE! Expect nothing, work for nothing, and just exist...etc.’

It all came to Stefan. All the philosophies he/she/it had ever read, or heard. They came all at once. Stefan became emptiness. The great void! His existence flashed before his closed eyes, and nothing mattered. What had been done, had been done! He reviewed everything from an objective, dispassionate perspective. He saw his/her own history as if someone else had lived it. Stefan had achieved the perfect state of mind...until...he snapped out of it.

He hugged his pillow, and burst into tears.



*****



Keith knew something went wrong with Stefan. He was about to transfer to him, when a psychic wall went up, and hit him like a ton of bricks. Stefan had blocked everyone out, and Keith didn’t like it one bit. With a little bit of willpower, Keith accommodated Stefan’s wishes, and didn’t override them. That didn’t stop Keith from time tripping into the ‘future,’ however, to find out what it all meant.

He came back to the ‘time’ he left, with a smile.



*****



When Stefan collected himself, he re-lit the fireplace and torches by force of will. He also did another add-on to the castle. Of all the craziest things, he actually added something of a bathroom to his room. No toilet; of course, but a huge underground tub, separate shower, black marble floor, glass and chrome fixtures, and black marble sink. It screamed luxury, and it was even more out of place than my skating rink.

Stefan materialised an odd combination of clothing on his dresser, all jet black, and he went to the bathroom. He materialised a bar of Drakkar Noir soap, Drakkar Noir shampoo, Drakkar Noir body oil, and a gallon of Drakkar Noir foaming bath oil. At least his toothpaste was mint.

He brushed his teeth, and hit the shower. He ended up shampooing his hair, and scrubbing himself raw for no practical reason whatsoever. Being as we were, there was nothing there to wash off. Before he stepped out of the shower, he turned the cold water on full blast, and stayed under that for a few seconds. (?????????????????????????)

Stefan poured the whole, entire, complete, total, undivided gallon of foaming bath oil into the tub, and let ‘er rip. Shivering like crazy, he pinned up his hair that fell halfway down his shoulder blades in back, and got into the rapidly filling tub, which he turned off just before a huge mess was to be made on the floor.

Stefan closed his eyes, and sat there. He transformed himself the way a method actor transforms himself for a role. Stefan was becoming someone else...on and off, some of the time.

After Stef got out of the tub, he dried off, kept the towel wrapped around himself, and blow- dried his hair using that generator in the hall, fluffing it up nicely with the help of a brush.

Stefan dematerialised the towel, put the whole vial of Drakkar body oil on himself, and studied himself in the mirror for a moment. He was built exactly like me. Slender, and well defined. A wiry body, built for speed, agility, and enough power to really handle itself. Stefan had made sure we were the same height, even. “Not bad! Not bad at all! I’m sure glad I don’t have to work out for it,” he said to himself.

He went into the bedroom, and grabbed the pair of thong skivvies he’d materialised for himself. Stefan never wore thongs before, having considered them uncomfortable and insufficient when ‘she’ was alive on Earth, but Stefan wasn’t the same sort of entity, anymore. He put them on, and stood before the mirror in the bedroom. “Yeah, leaving a little to the imagination is an improvement.”

He went back to the dresser, and grabbed more clothing, along with his boots. He got slowly into a pair of heavy, satin leotards patterned after mine, a pair of re-enforced socks, a pair of velvet breeches that came halfway down his calves, his boots, and a thin belt with silver Southwest Native American designs on it. He tied a silk scarf around his neck, and braided a hair-tie consisting of three red tailed hawk primary wing feathers in his hair. He went back to the mirror again. “Ye gods, I’d be a hit in the Castro, looking like this. Too bad I don’t quite fit in the scene that well. I’d probably drive a guy as crazy as Donn and Keith used to drive me, when I first got here.” He smiled. “Well, maybe not quite. Sheesh, I’d go a little further than a heavy snogging.”

Stefan went back to the dresser one more time, and got his silk satin shirt on, buttoning it up from the bottom, and leaving the top three buttons undone. He put on a silver Omega pendant, a vest, a cloak, and a pair of thin driving gloves that buckled at the wrist, leaving much of the back of his hands exposed past the knuckles. The gloves also had holes over the knuckles.

He looked very aristocratic, and he really looked like he belonged here.

One final look in the mirror! Stefan liked what he saw. He stalked out of his room, and half ran and half walked to the garden. He signalled Keith where he was going, and he also informed The Great White, that he wanted to see him.



*****



Keith complied, and would be waiting in the garden sitting on the edge of the fountain closest to the entrance of the castle. He knew what to expect. “Pretty cool threads, Stef. I’ve got to do a painting of you.”

Stefan sat down beside Keith. “Can’t wait to see it.”

Keith sniffed the air. “You fell into a vat of Drakkar?!”

“Close.”

“You want to talk about the Watts book, which seems to have inspired a transformation of sorts?!”

“I feel like I’ve hit Nirvana for a while. I’m not there now, of course. Keith, is what I feel for you and Donn wrong?”

“A little over the top, maybe.; but I wouldn’t say its wrong. You still seem to be convinced Donn, Macha, and I are a superior class of entity to you. That’s wrong, however. We’re different. Again, in a former life you were Donn’s mother. We’re just using different routes to go Home, and actually, you’re in an identical sort of class of entity of what we are, now. It’s just that we’ve been around longer, and learned more stuff.”

“I figure you have one hell of a lot fewer issues.”

“I have one issue I’ve got to resolve eventually, but it won’t hold me back. Donn has a couple, and Macha has a load; which would drive you to madness! Her biggest hurdle is to come to terms with all the people she killed, tortured and humiliated.”

“Wasn’t that war?” asked Stefan.

“Her thinking is, that’s no excuse for any excess, is there? Ideally, one should simply kill the opponent as quickly and efficiently as possible, huh? That’s what Macha told me in my former life.”

Stefan raised his left eyebrow. “Do we have a case of ‘Do as I say, and not as I did'?”

“Oh, yeah! Happens all the time. Even with the likes of us.”

“But not you personally, of course?!”

“I wouldn’t say that. I really try not to be a hypocrite, but I’m sure I’ve been one. The only one who isn’t is probably my Grandfather, or should I say ‘Grandparent,’ being The Source has no gender.”

“Gender seems pretty optional, now,” said Stefan

“Obviously. The façade is just something we’re used to. We don’t technically have a gender, right now. We just look like we do. After all, nothing works! No hormones, no pro-creational ability, and no messes to clean up.”

“It’s nice to have an optional form that’s only there for looks and not involuntary, inconvenient function. By the way, I think I finally absolved my former incubator.”

Keith chuckled. “Red Tail! You could start calling her your mother.”

Stefan smiled at the nickname. “I suppose I could. After all, like you guys said! I wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t scarred me so bad, huh?”

“Damn right.”

“Wow! I actually feel like I owe her something.”

Keith ran his right index finger down Stefan’s nose. “Besides a kick in the face, for the first time in forever, huh?”

Stefan leaned himself into Keith. “Sounds about right, but I won't go out of my way for her.”

Keith held put his arm around Stefan. “Then your so called debt will never be repaid, but you’re getting somewhere. I have to warn you, though. Looking like you do, you may have to watch yourself around Macha for a while.”

“You leave me in the dust even now! You’re kidding?!”

Keith shook his head. “No! Just make it clear to her why you did this to yourself, right from the start.”

“Thanks for letting me know,” said Stefan, as he returned Keith’s hold. “When are you starting on the painting?”

“How about after our cups of tea?”



*****



Macha attempted to go into her own meditations after reading the book, but her past kept interrupting her. It was flashback after flashback, and she got nowhere. She ended up reading ‘The Spirit of Zen’ again, as well. Twice more.



*****

When I came to on the couch, of course I was alone. I'd been out for quite an extended period. I smiled, and stretched out, with the warm, cuddly feelings from my Astral merging with Keith, having accompanied me to my dreams. I slowly sat up, materialised myself a cup of uncreamed jasmine green, and zeroed in on Keith.

Studio, working on a painting! Cool. I’d finish my tea first, and walk. It was only down the hall, two stories up, and a turn to the right. Maybe an eighth of a mile!

Gods, I felt good; and I lazed in the state I was in. I took my time with my tea, and my walk to the studio, about dragging myself up the stairs in my reverie. I got a faint whiff of Drakkar Noir as I hit the right floor, and it got stronger as I approached the studio. Stefan was the Drakkar nut, and I swear he must have been wearing enough to be perceptible at the other end of the castle. Thank the gods I liked the stuff.

When I got a good look at Stefan, I about hit the floor. “Stefan! What have you done to yourself?!”

He looked at me like a wide-eyed puppy. “Is it that bad?”

I scowled, walked over to him, and caressed his hair. “Stef, you are absolutely beautiful!” I looked at Keith’s layout. The backdrop was an old ruined castle, and Stefan was on Shiva, who was standing on its drawbridge. A flash of lightning was sketched onto the canvass. Stefan was looking at the viewer. “I’m doing a painting of you, too,” I said.

“Thanks. By the way, I put a bathroom in my room,” said Stefan.

“Fine, but you know, I think you overdid it a little on the Drakkar.”

Stefan shrugged, and patted the seat beside himself, signalling me to sit beside him. “Ritual. Sorry.”

Sit beside him I did, and I picked up his gloved hand. “This is your new uniform?!”

“Hm hm, though I think I'll sometimes wear a high collar white shirt with cravat.”

I touched his mind, and smiled. “You do seem a bit more self-contained.”

“But I still love you guys like there’s no to-morrow.”

“And the hostilities toward everyone who ever hurt you, seem to have diminished. Even those toward your mother.”

Stefan put his arm around me. “So I was a jerk. I’ve known what was wrong with me when I was alive. I was just never motivated to fix it. Now I see my negative feelings for what they were. Just another ball and chain! That’s how I feel now! I don’t know about to-morrow, since I was closer to the perfect state of mind a while ago, but...”

I brushed his bangs back. “You’re in a good state at the moment. Try to keep the hate and anger buried. All it does it keep you from moving forward.”

Stefan pulled me toward him, and wrapped himself around me. “Oh man, how can I be pissed about anything anymore, not that the jokes I tell about it will stop.”

I returned the embrace, and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course not, but there’s no reason for the past hostilities, ever again,” I said softly. “You’re in paradise forever.”

Stefan let go of me with his right arm, and ran his gloved index finger gently down the side of my face. “What are you painting?”

I smiled. “I think I want to surprise you.”

Keith turned around, and faced us. “Wouldn’t you two be more comfortable making out somewhere else? I mean, you two are getting kind of intense, huh? I don’t even have to be psychically sensitive.”

“Intense? Not by my standards,” said Stefan.

Keith put his pencil down, and came over to us. “Stefan, Donn, get out of here!” He put one hand on each of our shoulders, and gave us each a kiss on the forehead. “If you don’t, I’m going to set this painting aside right now, and start another one with both of you in it.”

Stefan looked at me. “Is that a bad thing?”

Keith backed off, put his feet at shoulder width, crossed his arms, and tilted his head. Looking at Stefan he asked, “How did you want Donn, in your old phantasies?”

I got the hint. I grabbed a hold of Stefan. “We’re gone!”

I transferred us to the room devoted to Siam.



*****



It took a minute for Stefan to stop laughing. “I guess he found us a bit distracting,” he said when he could.

“I wasn’t aware that Keith could get distracted these days. There was probably some ulterior motive that we may or may not find out about.”

“Being here makes me want another cup of tea. East Asia does that to me.”

“Keith did ruin the mood a little, huh?” I asked.

Stefan took me by the hand, and led me to the sofa, and sat down. I sat beside him, and ended up with an arm around me, while he materialised a cup of green jasmine, uncreamed. “Not really,” said Stefan, as he raised his cup.

“Ye gods, that smells good. Of course I’m joining you.” An identical cup of tea appeared in my left hand. “This tea addiction of mine is all your fault, of course.”

“Of course, but Kevin was even worse than me when we were alive on Earth.”

“Hard to believe, but I know.”

“Donn?”

“Ayuh?

“After this cup, can we do a mental merging?”

“Oh, yeah!”



*****



Keith set the canvass aside he was working on the second we were gone. He rigged up another blank canvass, and he stepped out of time to paint it. The end result was Stefan and I fully dressed in our ensabled outfits of today, with cloak and gloves included in Stefan’s attire. We were standing in flames, in a passionate embrace, eyes closed, our heads tilted in opposite directions, lips parted, as if we were going to kiss. As if.

Yeah, right!

A very unlikely picture! Neither Stefan nor I could stand the concept of mouth-to-mouth kissing. The only time I'd ever done it was when I kissed Macha to get her riled, and that wouldn't happen again.



*****



As me and Stefan became one in mind, we were just leaned into each other, with Stefan having his left hand on my left shoulder, and I had my right arm around his waist. Our eyes were closed, and we just sat there, revelling in each other’s feelings. It was nowhere near as intense or complete as an Astral merging, where we could completely lose our identity with each other if we so chose, but we wouldn’t feel a need to pass out after this.

I have no clue how long we were like that. It’s a timeless experience. It’s REAL! One is focused exclusively on their ‘lover.’ There’s nothing self-centred about it, and everything that is dished out is mirrored back two-fold. It’s absolutely beautiful, and it generally ends in a snogging session of varying degrees. I only did it with Keith and Stefan, and I doubted I’d ever engage in this with anyone else. The relationship between me and Kevin wasn’t that close, and Macha was...well, Macha was Macha. No!

As we slowly came into ourselves again, Stefan rubbed the side of his head against my shoulder. “Hm, Red Tail,” I whispered, as I ran my hand through his hair. “As soon as we get enough of each other, I really, really want to get to work on that painting.”

“You blocked it out from me.”

I smiled, and ran my index finger down his nose. “I want to surprise you, and I can’t wait to show it to you.”

Stefan kissed my nose. “Perhaps I’ll go for a ride, and time-trip forward, after?”

I embraced him. “In a few minutes, maybe?”

Stefan held me, in turn. “As long as you like.”



























































































Chapter 3





I set up my canvass in the room devoted to Hungary. Hey! It had the atmosphere for what I was about to do.

I had my head tilted to the right to expose two puncture wounds on the left side of my neck, with a bit of blood trickling down. Stefan was behind me, bestowing a tender embrace, looking quite happy and sated with a thin stream of blood down the corner of his mouth. The room we were in was tomb-like, and there was an open casket on the floor behind Stefan.

Stefan, when the kid named Zanna, was into vampires for a few years. ‘She’ probably saw every flick there was, up to 1981. The Dracula scene, the Dark Shadows scene, and everything she could read about the inspirational people of the past, like Elizabeth Bathory, and Vlad Tepes. It had some effect on her personality. She became Gothic light. Now, as Stefan, I guess he was into a higher calorie sort of Goth. Even as Kyle, Stefan thought the Gothic look was cool.

Well, why not humour that?



*****



After Stefan went for his ride and took care of Shiva, neither Keith nor I had signalled him yet. He was going absolutely crazy with suspense over the paintings, so he wasn’t in any mood to do anything creative or constructive. He signalled Macha, to let her know he was en route to see her.

“Stefan, what have you done to yourself?!”

“You know how many times today I heard that question word for word, already?” He remembered Keith’s words of advice. “By the way; Macha, this look is for me! A focus on myself to give myself the illusion of independence and self-containment.”

“I assume it’s helping.”

“It is. I get fringe benefits, too. Both Keith and Donn are doing a painting of me.”

Macha sighed. “Love this place! I mean, everywhere else you go, it’s ‘Man, you are like absolutely gorgeous! Can I fuck your brains out?’ Here it’s, ‘Boy you are fine! Can I do a painting of you?’”

Stefan scowled, “A painting takes so much more effort and devotion. Don’t you think that’s a stronger sign of love? I mean, what do you feel when you paint Kevin, or Keith, or Donn?”

Macha nodded. “Yeah! What you say is true. Doing a painting is a different way of making love, but looking at you makes me want to ask you for firsts, if you ever go off your celibacy kick as a dude.”

“I don’t think I ever will. (Yeah, right!) I also don’t know if I ever want to screw anybody as a male, if I do. I’ve kind of developed an aversion to the concept. It’s a Donn thing that I’ve adopted.”

“Yeah! The reasons he wrote about in his first book for maintaining his virginity aren’t exactly relevant any more, are they?”

“No! Now Donn considers copulating as self-centred, silly, undignified, and defeating the purpose of what it’s supposed to represent. For some strange reason, I agree with him. I mean, we make out asexually all the time, and it’s beyond anything I ever experienced sexually.”

Macha tilted her head, and smiled. “And if he requested that you change gender, so he...uh...”

“I’d take him in a nanosecond, but he won't.”

Macha chuckled. “You are a trip, Stef. Thanks for making me laugh.”

“But it’s not going to happen, so let’s forget about it.”

“Yeah! I want to see those paintings too. Do we pass the time, or time-trip?”

“Let’s time-trip. I can’t stand it any more. I’m going to go rabidly insane if I have to wait any longer.”

“Who first? Donn or Keith?”

“I saw Keith’s sketch. Let’s go forward to when Donn is finished.”

Macha chuckled again. “OK, let’s.”



*****



I got a couple of mental queries of ‘Done yet?’ from Macha, a few ‘hours’ apart. When I was finished, Macha and Stefan appeared before me.

Stefan looked like he went into shock, when he saw the painting. He walked toward it very slowly; his lower jaw dropped, and he touched it. “Donn!” he more or less squeaked.

I checked out his state of mind. It was a mixed bag. He thought the painting was absolutely gorgeous, and it moved him, but it inspired a little bit of pain. I immediately went to his side, and held him. “Stef, I’m sorry.”

“No!” he whispered. “I love it. I’m not growing fangs, though. Keith in extended canines is enough.” Or so he thought for now.

I stroked his hair. “I didn’t think this would arouse any longing in you. The way we’re posed is so close to reality, minus my having been your lunch.”

Stefan looked at me with a sad smile, and Macha said, “There must have been a better way to phrase that.”

I kissed Stefan on the forehead. ‘She’s right, and please don’t say what you were going to say. Don’t defile what we have with such crude humour.’ I sent him, along with a mental caress, and wave of love.

Stefan hugged me back. He sent to me nonverbally, ‘OK, I won’t. I’ll be OK, but let’s see if Keith’s painting is ready.’



*****



Well, the one with Stefan on the drawbridge was only halfway covered with paint, but the other one was completely finished. “Good Lord, not another one,” groaned Stefan. “What are you guys trying to do to me? Devastate my attempted eradication of all my lustful memories, or something?”

Macha scowled, looked at me, and motioned at Keith. “Was there some sort of collusion between you two that I’m not picking up on?”

Keith, suddenly aware that maybe he should have talked this project over with everyone involved first, said, “Ye gods, Stef! I...uh...I’m sorry, but this is such an obvious theme. I mean, especially after what you two were doing before I kicked you out of here? I’m sorry for re-igniting old memories, but I was so obsessed with doing this, and it’s so un-graphic, I thought it wouldn’t affect you.”

“It’s OK!” said Stefan. “It’s beautiful, but...let’s say I’m having a regressive moment, OK? I’ve got to do some meditating later, and maybe read another Watts book.”

“This one is also a bit of an unlikely scene,” I said. “Keith, your painting’s more removed from reality than the one that I did, with me as this here vampire’s willing victim.” I sent him a thought picture of my painting.

Stefan took my hand. “True. I adore Donn beyond measure, but one of the last things I want to do with him, is kiss like that,” he said to Keith.

I scowled. “I’d rather eat a chocolate covered dill pickle, myself.”

“Kidney pie with whipped cream?” asked Stefan.

I took his question seriously. “Actually, between those choices, I think I’d rather kiss you, Stef. Especially if that kidney pie was cooked by an Englishman.”

Even Stefan laughed over that one. “We’ve got to show these paintings to Kevin.”

Macha nodded, and closed her eyes. “Kevalyn, now. She is in the process of recording. We’ve got a couple of new songs to hear, later. Celtic!”

“She, huh? Great!” I said. “So Kev will check these out later, whatever gender it may be when it does?!”

“Yeah,” said Macha.

Keith put his brush under water. “I think I could use a break. Shall we go to the garden for some tea?”

“Sounds like a good idea. Walk?” asked Macha.

“No objection from me,” said Keith.

“Same,” said Stefan.

“Onward,” I added.



*****



Macha and Keith walked hand in hand, as did Stefan and I. We didn’t talk as we walked to the garden, but it seemed Macha and Keith were both in telepathic conversation with each other. The way they occasionally looked at each other, it was implied, not that either Stefan or I cared. Stef and I were pretty wrapped up in each other right now, and though the subtle and tasteful eroticism in each of the paintings did bother Stefan some, he could cope with it, and I wouldn’t be suffering any unwelcome consequences.

We sat down in the grass of an oak grove. After we materialised the tea of our choice, Macha said, “I’m really having problems accepting myself, as far as the quest for evolution goes. Is there a snowballs chance in the depths of Vesuvius that someone here can help me rationalise this away?”

Stefan seemed surprised. “Kevin couldn’t do it?”

“No,” said Macha. “I’ve talked to him countless numbers of times.”

Stefan scowled. “That’s amazing. He used to talk sense into me just about every time I needed it when I lived with him on Earth.”

“You didn’t kill, rape, pillage, and feast on your victims when you were younger.”

“How did you cook them?”

Macha chortled. “Stefan! I ate them raw! I was in the form of a crow! Next on your reading list should be a refresher course on the Irish legends! Sheesh!”

Stefan gave her one of those looks, with a cock-eyed smile denoting he was not serious. “Macha, you know better than to bring up the subject of long pig when I’m in hearing range.”

“Ah yes! How can I forget?”

Stefan said, “Just do what all the philosophy books say! Don’t dwell on what can’t be changed. It’s over! It’s done! You’re not the same anymore, and you won’t do it again. Case closed!”

“If only it were that easy,” said Macha. “Like when you were on Earth, what kind of a time did you have with your memories of thrashing your half brother and sister when your mother had you babysit them?”

Stefan reached forward, and ran his gloved index finger down her nose. “It took a while, but I got over that a long time before I got to Tech Duinn, mi’lady.”

Keith kissed Macha on the cheek. “I’ll take you Astral again in a little while, so you can temporarily see the right perspective, and lose it again for the umpteenth time.”

“I’m sorry, but my flashbacks are stronger than your rationale. You can still take me Astral, though,” said Macha to Keith.

“Of course,” said Keith.

Stefan leaned into me. “Donn, Keith; I also really have to thank you for those paintings. I want a copy of all three of them in my bedroom, after everything is done.”

“Go for it,” said Keith.



*****



We stayed in the grove a long time, all of us sitting on the grass. Kevin joined us, and he’d seen the paintings before his arrival. “You know Stef, I almost wish I were into dudes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so good. Did you grow the fangs like in the paintings?”

Stefan chuckled. “No way! That’s artistic license. My vampire fetish died way before we met, you know?”

“I never even knew you had one, when we lived on Earth, and I was barely cognisant of the fact you ever had one, here.”

Stefan shrugged. “My infatuation with death personified and the gothic look had to come from somewhere, I guess.”

“Yup! You wore every colour under the sun, as long as it was black.”

“Sheesh, Kev! You’re making me sound like Henry Ford or something, not that you didn’t dress identically to me ninety percent of the time.”

Kevin smiled. “Hey! I like your taste, OK? Your present get up is awesome.”

Stefan signalled at Macha. “You still haven’t found a way to coerce the most beautiful woman that ever existed on how to come to terms with her past, huh?”

“Hitting zero Kelvin is easier,” said Kevin. “Or maybe getting oil and vinegar to mix, or you having your way with Donn.” Bad choice of words, right now, though Stefan didn’t outwardly react.

Keith stroked her hair. “You know, Macha; maybe you should just face the facts and admit that you did what circumstances demanded you do?”

“I was crueller than I had to be.”

“And if you’d been mortal, what would your opponent have done to you?” asked Keith.

“So what’s the issue? That’s not how it was.”

No!” said Keith. “That is how it was. However, that’s not how it is. What’s done; is done and gone, you wouldn’t do it again, so...Macha, shall I drag you before Chaos Itself, to absolve you?”

Stefan flinched, and shifted position to get on his knees, pointing at ‘Keith.’ “Thanatos! I can’t stand it anymore!”

‘Keith’ scowled. “What?”

Stefan sat down again, and gave ‘Keith’ a pleading look. “Thanatos, I love the name Keith, but how much of you is that? A few thousand years before the Milesian invasion?! What’s that? Twenty thousand years, or so?! In how long of an existence in of your out-of-time span of virtual eternity as Thanatos, which really does precede your acknowledgement of the Greek myths?! You are NOT Keith! Keith was my conventional lover once, it was absolutely beautiful, and if he were still alive, he might still be that. Can you be called by the name of who you really are? Does anyone mind how much it hurts me to call you by the name of my dead lover, with you being so damn different?”

“You blocked that from me!” said ‘Keith.’

“I didn’t think I had the right to object to what you called yourself, but that little reminder of you being the grandson of Chaos was like getting hit upside the head with a two by four.” Stefan looked like he was on the verge of crying. “Please?”

Keith/Thanatos beckoned Stefan over. “Stef, why didn’t you let me know?! The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

Stefan crawled the couple of feet to Keith/Thanatos. “I...I didn’t...” he couldn’t finish the sentence.

Macha lost The Great White’s attentions completely. “Are there any objections from anyone?” asked ‘Thanatos’

I shook my head. “No! Actually, I lean toward Thanatos myself. That’s the name of the one I’ve been mooning for, since I’ve lived here.”

“My preference is so marginal that it’s irrelevant,” said Macha.

“I have no preference whatsoever,” said Kevin. “This is out of my realm of having any opinion whatsoever.”

“OK, back to Thanatos, then,” said Thanatos, as he kissed Stefan on the forehead, and sent him a mental caress, and some other unspoken thoughts that actually put a smile on Stefan’s face.

Stefan put his hand on Thanatos’ right shoulder, traced his fingers down his arm, took his hand, and kissed the back of it. “Thanks,” he said, for reasons unknown to us.

Thanatos stroked his hair, and winked at him.

Stefan backed off, and shifted himself back to me, in much better spirits than what he’d been a moment ago. ‘Are you all right?’ I sent him.

Stefan leaned into me, again. ‘Couldn’t be better.’

I probed...or tried to probe him. The wall was pretty thick. He was unreadable. I didn’t say anything. I put my arm around him, and got the gesture returned.

Thanatos kissed Macha on the cheek, and moved forward about a foot. He reached out, and extended his left hand to Stefan. Stefan, with a dreamy look, reached out to touch fingertips with Thanatos. He closed his eyes, and smiled.



*****



No one would be the wiser except for Thanatos and Stefan, but the two of them actually disappeared, from their own perspective. They ended up sitting of the floor of Stefan’s room.

“This isn’t very polite, is it?” asked Stefan.

“I’ll take us back to before we even touched fingertips. No one will be aware. I made you a promise, and we might as well get this over with, huh?”

“You make this sound like you’ve just been recruited to clean the castle by hand.”

Thanatos chuckled. “Not that bad. This won’t be anything like what happened between you and me, as Keith. Tantra was a good alien experiment, but it's not something my reintegrated self considers worthwhile under these circumstances. I’m sorry, but I think what I did with you then is akin to running twenty six miles to eat at McDonald’s, when you have a Sikh restaurant next door; speaking in an analogy that you might use.” Thanatos stood up, took Stefan by the hands, and pulled Stef to his feet.

“You really don’t want to do this?!”

Thanatos unclasped Stefan’s cloak. “I didn’t say that. I don’t want to do what my last incarnation did with you. Too much work to quell a few moments of personal insanity, not that I can even GET into that state anymore! I’m sorry, Stef, but this will be a kind of flat line experience for me. You’re back in one piece, it seems.”

Stefan nodded, and whispered, “Yes!” He took his gloves off. “Fully functional.”

“I have NEVER done this before. No incarnation of me has ever...Stefan, let me take care of you first, please.”

“Will this be the first and last time?”

Thanatos ran his hand gently down Stefan’s chest, before unbuttoning his shirt. “I haven’t decided.”

“I have to sit down, or I’m gonna collapse,” Stefan panted. “I’ve never done this before either, from a masculine perspective. It’s weird. The same, but different! I’m having a hard time. There seems to be a greater degree of urgency.”

Thanatos led Stefan to the edge of his bed, and Stefan gratefully had a seat. “After we’re done, I want a cool-down period for you, before joining the others. I don’t want you in altered states. I want you to try to feign the mood you were in when we left them.”

Stefan nodded, and pulled his boots off. “If you do decide to do this again, can I ever be female?”

Thanatos then took Stefan’s hand, and brushed his nose on Stefan’s wrist. “I can’t say, yet. I guess that depends on both of our states of mind in the future. Now, I just can’t handle coitus, or anything remotely resembling it, and you want it so bad, that you couldn’t handle being in a state where it’s physically possible to do that with me, so I insist you stay male. The Drakkar scent...you’ve made it a permanent part of you.”

“I love the stuff.”

“You state the obvious.” Thanatos, gently pulled Stefan’s shirt off!

Thanatos ended up doing a delicate exploration of Stefan, tracing his muscle lines, and took care of him slowly, gently, and with at least as much grace, art and poise as his former incarnation would have delivered; with the added benefit of mental caresses and powerful, telepathic waves of love. There was not the slightest bit of desperation or duress in his moves, and there was no evidence that he was in the slightest motivated by lust.

Stefan returned to Thanatos what he could, in as close to Thanatos’ style as possible. Thanatos proved to be very time consuming, and difficult to work with, not that Stefan cared. Thanatos was a beautiful work of art that was there to examine, despite the fact he was now a hard one to get conventional reactions out of.

After they were done; they lay in mutual embrace, and Stefan asked Thanatos, “Do you have any idea how grateful I am for this, and how much I love you?”

Thanatos kissed Stefan’s nose. “Too grateful for my own good, and the love you feel for me almost rivals the size of your nose.”

Stefan chuckled. “Now that’s a compliment and a half.”

“As for your unspoken question; no this won’t necessarily be the last time for this, but I sure don’t want to spend that much time on it. Also, you’ve got to understand it will be for YOU, and YOU alone. I’m not that addicted to the sensations.”

“OK. I think I can go back to the others soon, but can we stay like this a while longer just so I can revel in what you are a bit more?”

“You have got to get over that attitude.”

“Hm! Might be harder to get over that than the hostilities I used to feel toward my mother.”

“You asked to be born into certain circumstances. She was your tool. The vehicle of your choice! You never had the reason to hate her so much.”

“I can’t love her either, but is apathy good enough?”

“Not really, but as you said...if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be at my side right now.”

Stefan closed his eyes. “I’ll work on it.”

Thanatos stroked his hair. “Maybe you ought to take a little nap, before we go back.”

“Can I?”

“Might be a good idea. I won’t leave you. Also, try to guard your thoughts on anyone knowing what we just did for a while. If Macha finds out, I’ll NEVER hear the end of it.”

“OK, Thanks.” Stefan curled up on his side, with Thanatos wrapped around him. He fell asleep rather quickly.

Thanatos did the job of his brother; Hypnos, and took over Stefan’s dreams.



*****



“Macha, shall I drag you before Chaos Itself, to absolve you?” asked ‘Keith.’

This time, Stefan held his ground. Macha said, “Let me work on myself just a little bit more, before we take such drastic measures.”

Stefan pointed at The Great White. “Thanatos! You just gave us a gentle reminder of who you really are, and do you have any idea what sort of a mess it makes of me to call you Keith?”

‘Keith’ tilted his head, and scowled. “Your dead lover, who is my spitting image? Not until now. You’ve blocked that part of your mind from me.”

“I didn’t think I had the right to object,” said Stefan. “Anyway, of your integrated personality, you’re more Thanatos than Keith, anyway, so...” he trailed off.

The Great White looked at everyone. “Because of the psychological discomfort it causes Stefan, is there any objection if I defer to Red Tail, and re-take the name my mother chose for me?”

“I’d prefer it myself,” I said. Yeah, I liked the name ‘Keith’ better; but it was ‘Thanatos’ that I’d been mooning for, for all this illusion of time.

Macha looked at him. “Since you obviously aren’t my ‘Keith’ anymore, I guess I can’t complain.”

Kevin just said, “And I couldn’t really care much less. I don’t have anything vested in what you call yourself.”

Thanatos closed his eyes, and nodded. “So Thanatos it is again.” He pointed at Stefan. “But I do want to keep this form.”

“I can live with that,” said Stefan. “I like it better myself,” ‘not to mention your other one is a bit young for me,’ he added silently.

‘It’s perfect for the job of Gate Keeper, though.’

‘Yeah! Than?’

‘Yes?’

‘Being we went back in time to now, and that was before we made out, did we even make out?’

Thanatos had to do an immediate fade out to keep everyone from seeing him ‘spontaneously’ burst into laughter. ‘Knock it off, Stefan! You little shite! Yes we did, and if you want more, quit doing stuff like this to me!’

Thanatos had to time trip to get back to where everything was as it should be, taking Stefan with him.













































Chapter 4





Thanatos took Macha Astral, after a fruitless discussion in the grove. Thanatos knew that he wouldn’t get through to her for any longer than a day this time, either. Still, the Astral make-out session wasn’t bad, and Macha was quite grateful for the time in peace and bliss. Thanatos got her into a state that continuously eluded her when she was alone.

There was one thing about the integrated version of Thanatos and Keith that Macha really valued, and could not take for granted. Everything Thanatos did for her was in no way influenced by the slightest degree of obligation. Everything was done because he genuinely cared about her, and it was all done unconditionally. He had nothing more to learn from her, he had no use for what pleasures she could theoretically provide, and she had absolutely nothing to give, that he would want, except for her own success at moving on, so everyone could stay together for a transition to a better place.

Thanatos made absolutely sure there wasn’t the slightest iota of sensuality in their merging. That wasn’t the point, not to mention he didn’t want to go there with this one, any more. He’s had enough of her volatility and different tastes in his last incarnation to last into eternity. He adored her, but not like that. Those days were over.

He stressed what the relevant philosophers had to say. He flooded her mind with the information again, for the umpteenth time.

For now, she was all right. That’s how it happened. Then she’d reflect on her past, and it would all fall apart.

What if he did something different this time? If it this wasn’t going to work for the long term, why bother?

An idea hit him. Should he give her the message in a dream, or should he compromise his own pacifist nature, and kill something? What would be more efficacious?

Out of the Astral, to prehistory Ireland, to the battlefield, he took them. it would be a true trip to the past. There would be no memories of the present.



*****



The Formor was a foot taller than Macha, and as ugly as hell. That didn’t stop her attack. It just made her more determined.

Macha was lighter on her feet, and found her opponent easy to outmanouevre. Agility, speed, and technique were on her side. Brute strength didn’t stand a chance. She disabled him slowly, by hacking away various body parts, and when he was down for good, she slowly slit his throat. Oh, Macha was having the time of her life.

Suddenly she heard someone drop behind her.

Macha was on her feet in a split second. A dead Formor, even bigger than the one she’d just brought down, lay at her feet in two pieces. Just beyond him, stood the most beautiful man Macha had ever seen in her life. The snow skinned, fiery-eyed lad looked like something beyond the Tuatha, and he was definitely not a Formor. He smiled at Macha, and came to her, to stand facing away from her. He’d protect her from behind, and the other way around.

Together they slew eight more Formorians, before Thanatos took them back; and they didn’t go back to the Astral. Thanatos landed Macha on her own bed, and he sat on the edge of it.

Her mind reeled, from the experience. “Gods, Than! What did you do?” were her last words, before passing out.

Thanatos took full control of her dreams, basically showing her a series of ‘mental movies’ that he knew would alleviate her dilemma. Why didn’t he do this earlier?



*****



When Macha awakened, Thanatos was still with her. She looked at him, and smiled. “You’re still here?”

“Hm hm! I never left.”

“Did we actually battle the Formorians, or was that a dream?”

“I time tripped us back from the Astral. I gave you my energy so you’d stay awake, and I put us back to one of the battles you actually fought, to give you a fresh outlook on what you did.”

Macha closed her eyes, and rolled on her back. “I remember the original fight. I was almost killed from behind. You rescued me, this time.”

“I killed three Formorians for this quest to help you evolve, Macha. I’d never killed anything before, in all my existence. You know how I feel about it?”

“No.”

“Neutral. I had to do it. I had no choice.”

“If you hadn’t pulled me back to this time, I would have made you a king.”

Thanatos laughed. “Macha, that is such a superfluous statement. You know me better than that.”

Macha covered her eyes with the crook of her left arm. “I think I have to shift my thinking back to Tech Duinn.”

“I think I should leave you now to think things over.”

“You do so much for me.”

“I love you, Macha. My former teacher, now my protégé, huh?”

She smiled, brought her arm away from her face, and looked at him. “Stranger things have happened, but thank you.”

Thanatos waved at her, and faded away from her view.

Macha would make progress, but it would take quite a bit more work.



*****



All three completed paintings of Stefan in his new get-up were next to each other in the hall. Me, Stefan, and Kevin were looking at them. Stefan wasn’t bothered by them, at all anymore. “I have never been so heavily flattered in all my existence,” said Stefan. “I hope you guys knock it off, or you’re going to have a complete fop on your hands.”

“Have you looked in a mirror even once since you initially made this little transformation, oh now fluffy haired one?” I asked.

“Other than right after I made it, no,” said Stefan

“Idle threat, it seems,” I said.

“I do like looking at the pictures, though,” said Stefan.

“So do I,” said Kevin. “There’s a powerful, moving vibe of love in them, despite the strange way it’s portrayed. It’s gothic art, at its best.”

“I thank you, and Thanatos probably thanks you, as well.” I looked at Kevin. “There is not one painting of you as a man, hanging in this castle.”

“I’d rather it stay that way. My innate being has a feminine identity.”

“Macha’s not here. Then change. I think you’re cuter as a woman, anyway,” I said.

I got my request in less than a second. Fiery haired beauty in a tie-dyed halter, long pastel flowery skirt, go-go boots, and silver an turquoise bracelets. “Better?” she asked.

“Much. Kevalyn, for now?” I asked.

“Please. Gods, I wish Macha played both sides of the street.”

I chuckled. “For a little while, Keith wished the same of you.”

“Hypocrites ‘r’ us, huh?” asked Kevalyn.

“Oh, yeah!” I said. “At least we admit it.”

“So, I guess that makes it OK,” said Stefan.

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Now for some strange reason, I want to sit down somewhere, and have a cup of tea.”

“Denmark’s a couple of doors down. Is that OK?” asked Kevalyn.

“Fine by me,” I said.

Me, Stefan and Kevalyn joined hands, with Stefan in the middle, and we were off to a simulacrum of ancient Denmark.



*****



‘The Two Hands of God; Myths of Polarity,’ was the next Watts book Macha would read. Thanatos didn’t recommend anything, but she thought it was a good choice, from the title. Macha sat herself down at the end of the book-aisle, and started reading.



*****



Thanatos decided to go all out on the job. Everyone was absorbed in their own thing, and it was a good time to catch up a little more on the four thousand plus years he’d missed. He took on his form of the not quite seventeen year old lad borne to Nyx, and time tripped to the point of several hundred versions of himself running around, placing recently ‘transferred’ people in the afterworlds.

To his own state of consciousness, Thanatos was in only one location, doing one Hell of a lengthy tour. From everyone else’s perspective, if they knew what was happening, there were many of him running around in different time frames. It’s amazing that he never ran into himself. He’d done this all the time before he'd taken the form of Keith.



*****



“After this tea, does anyone feel like jamming, by chance?” asked Kevalyn.

“Working on something new?” asked Stefan.

“Always,” said Kevalyn.

Stefan shrugged. “I guess so. I can sit there, and see if I can come up with something. Bass?”

“Fine. Donn, can you do keyboard, if you’re interested?”

“Sure. I’m game,” I said. “Celtic?”

“Sidhe!”

“Cool!” I said. “For that, I think I want to transfer to the studio. Not walk.”

Stefan said, “Maybe I should play recorder instead of bass.”

“Probably a good idea,” said Kevalyn. “If everything turns out, I’d have to recruit someone for that anyway, and bass isn’t really a requirement for what I have in mind, though it wouldn’t clash. I want one more cup after this, though.”

“Fine by me,” said Stefan.

Like I was going to argue?















Chapter 5





Kevalyn came up with a concept masterpiece on her lead guitar. It was absolutely gorgeous, haunting, and it blew me out of the water that someone who wasn’t a full-blooded member of the Tuatha de Danaan could come up with something like that. I’d have to put the finished product on the system in the skating rink. It was one of the most inspirational pieces I’d ever heard in my existence.

Kevalyn did only guitar, but Stefan and I ended up doing some overdubs on harp (me) and flute (Stefan), as well. In the end, we decided some violin would be nice in the mixture. Perhaps some fresh input would be conducive, as well. We’d ask both Macha and Thanatos later, if they’d volunteer for that, or anything else, if they both wanted to add anything.

Kevalyn changed back to Kevin, before leaving the studio.



*****



Macha went back to her room after finishing the book to meditate. It didn’t work too well this time, either.

Thoughts kept intruding on her. The recent trip to fight with the Formorians with Thanatos, and her deeds in the distant past reared their ugly heads again, as well. Then, there were her memories of ‘Keith.’ How she ‘created’ him, and why, and who had ended up occupying that work of art that was the most beautiful thing in male that could exist…next to me, in her opinion.

Well, we did look almost identical; and she liked my whacked personality.

She broke down in tears.



*****



Thanatos was with Macha soon after she broke down. He sat beside her, and stroked her hair. “The Morrighan is shedding tears for being the Morrighan?”

‘Apparently,’ she answered wordlessly.

“You were born and raised to be a bad-assed war goddess. You did what you were supposed to do. Let it go. You’re not like that anymore, and you’ve retired. For the umpteenth time, you won’t do any of it again.”

‘Thanatos, I think for the first time I really love you in the right way.’

“Truly, for surely, unconditionally! You do! About time, huh?”

‘Shall I apologise for how I viewed you in your last life?’

“No. My existence really couldn’t have been much better, and you more than made up for objectifying me, with all the favours you did for me. You know, Macha, you actually have made some progress.”

‘It doesn’t seem like it, to me.’

“Trust me. Like with all the others, I know you better than you know yourself,”

Macha wiped her sleeve across her face, and smiled. “I believe you,” she said aloud, being able to talk through her tears, now.

He opened up his arms to her. “Let me hold you.”

She complied, and they shared their minds to a degree.



*****



Stefan and I separated from Kevin shortly after the recording session. Kevin wanted to spend some time in the garden, and Stefan and I wanted to go for a ride on the beach. It was early twilight, with a mostly cloudy sky. It would be colourful.

We left the equines completely un-tacked, as usual, and didn’t plan on anything more than either a walk or an easy lope.

The animals walked to the waters edge, we were side by side, and took each other’s hands as we touched each other’s minds. Stefan seemed much more at peace. “Alan Watts seems to really be doing something for you,” I said.

He smiled, and tilted his head. “Oh, yeah!” There was a touch of sarcasm in his voice, and I couldn’t begin to decipher it.

I looked off into the distance. “Looks like it’s raining way out there.”

Stefan scowled. “Yeah, but the wind’s not blowing in the right direction, unless...” He looked to the right. “No! It’s not going to hit us, unless the wind changes direction. It’s not electrical anyway, so I guess it’s no big deal.”

“It’s been a while since we went for a ride in a storm. Should we watch out for one?”

“If you’re willing to pay the price, I am too.”

“Hesper in the spa? Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll see if I can offer Shiva a bargain of three intense grooming sessions, starting to-morrow, if he’ll just let me go with you after the storm. I mean, he can just transfer straight to Tir na nOg, after the ride.”

“They don’t like breaking with routine. It’s OK. Hesper will want a Hell of a lot longer than the illusory half hour or so that Shiva likes after the workout.”

“All right.” Stefan let go of my hand, and stroked Shiva. “I might give him some extra time, anyway. He is so cool.”

“That’s an idea. Too bad they don’t have it in them to consume anything anymore. A physical horse would probably love some honeyed chamomile tea.”

“You, me and Hesper on the couch, with a temporary coffee table in front so Hesper can just lean forward for his bucket of tea. Who would get the middle?”

“For Hesper, I would. For Shiva, you! Hesper is the only pony who’ll lay on the couch, though.”

“I’ve never seen anyone else who has any interest, as far as the equines are concerned.”

“It’s not in their nature to want to do anything like that. I had to use a bit of gentle persuasion to get Hesper on the couch. Attention and TLC are wonderful motivators for them.” I leaned forward, and scratched Hesper behind the ears.

“These guys are so damn perfect,” said Stefan. “They can be anywhere, and they stay with us.”

“Love, Stefan. Simply love.”

Stefan slid off Shiva, and hugged him. “Gods above and below, they are so awesome. Inside and out, you know?”

Shiva gave a nicker, reacting to a mental caress from Stefan.

“Ayuh.” I got off Hesper. “Shall we walk to the end of the beach, and back to the castle?”

“Sure.”

Hesper did not ask for a sponge down in the spa, for this. A traditional grooming would satisfy him tonight.



*****



“You know, you are basically going to have to resolve this by yourself,” said Thanatos to Macha. “I can give you the map, but you have to take your own road. Both of us know damn well that me forcing my thoughts down your throat is only a temporary measure that always leads to the starting point.”

“What would happen if you did take me to Chaos?”

“It would tell you the same thing I’ve been telling you, and you’d probably react the same way. Wouldn’t make any difference. Chaos doesn’t remould anyone. You are what you are, and Chaos would tell you this is your problem, and my problem by proxy.”

“Can you go back to Chaos now?”

Thanatos smiled, and ran his index finger down Macha’s nose. “Only for a visit.”

“You know, I am so grateful to you and Donn, in so many ways.”

“We shattered your illusions of invulnerable bitch-hood.”

“At least. You two also seem to have taught me what real love is.”

“You’ve always felt real love for Donn. Granted that antagonistic streak that you two have for each other is still there, I laugh to this day over some of the things you’ve done to each other, but if you didn’t genuinely love him, you would have destroyed him for some of his past mockery of you.”

“Let’s not remind me of that too much, but how can anyone not love him? Strange, but in a lot of ways, he still strikes me as being a kid,” said Macha.

“Same, but he’s never had a reason to change. He’s an eternal dreamer, and from an artistic perspective, a hopeless romantic. That’s why we have so many pretty paintings on the wall.”

“An artistic perspective...beautiful, frustrating little twerp. And you...”

“Macha, I was growing apart from you at the end of my last life. I no longer liked what you like, and now I find it totally intolerable. Considering you have a very attractive protégé to replace what I was, and who does like what you like, and is eager to please you, let’s move this conversation somewhere else, since it would do neither one of us any good.”

She looked down. “Stop dwelling on the past, huh?”

“In every regard! Unless you want to go there, of course.”

“It’s not worth it, except what you did to help heal me a little.”

“You realise this! You’re not just saying that! I know this for a fact! Now if only you can start living by this philosophy every second of the day, in this illusion of time.”

“I’m working on it. Do I sense a bit of desperation in you? Impatience?” asked Macha.

“Seems that way, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does.”

“No. I’m neither desperate nor impatient. I already live in the location we’re going to. From my perspective, I spend more time there, than here; and even more time at work.”

“Strange, considering you always seem to be here.”

“Yes, my dearest sequential thinker. If you time tripped you might run into me several times, centuries apart from the perspective of the world, and moments apart from your own perspective, provided you knew where to find me.”

“Sounds like I might get my first headache just from listening to you.”

“Perhaps I should leave you now to think things over?”

“Probably a good idea.”

He pointed at her and winked. “Ride with me later.”

“You bet!”



*****



After we took care of the equines, Stefan and I snuggled on the circular couch in the new room. Stefan had a rare hot chocolate, with a fair amount of whipped cream on it. I just stuck to my tea.

“Architect, landscaper, ice-dancer, musician, poet, painter... Is there anything you can’t do?”

“I don’t cook worth a damn.”

“Yeah! Not interested. I can identify.”

“But you can cook.”

“SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you ever let that out, I’ll never let you pet my nose again.”

“Perish the thought. Who around here eats anymore, anyway, not that you’ve ever prepared anything since you’ve been here.”

Stefan held up his hot chocolate. “This is about as close as I get to eating, but Macha and Kevin still have an occasional repast.”

“Getting more occasional as time goes on.”

“There are better things to do.”

I rested my head against his shoulder, and sent him a mental caress. “Totally.”



*****



Thanatos went to one of his old haunts of the Elysian Fields, taking ‘his’ horse, Gilgamesh with him. The place was a couple of Etheric Levels lower than The White City. It was beautiful, peaceful, and Edenesque. Like in The White City, there was no sun, but the overhead ‘sky’ was evenly lit, and everything was perfect, with plants being both in bloom, and in fruit. Both animals and humanity frolicked in the scenery, with everything getting along due to lack of predation, no territorial needs, and no innate biological competition, for the lack of the basic instinct or ability to perpetuate the species. That was for the Physical Planes, though that didn’t deter any species from intimacy, though more for emotional reasons than anything else. Thanatos was now in the form born to Nyx.

Thanatos, not having come into an existence in the Physical Realm, had been initially devoid of any desires of the carnal sorts, and repeating myself (Yes, I do that a lot.), had no wish to intertwine his Karmic self with anyone in any way shape or form, so he could not have been persuaded to act like most of his Olympian relatives under any circumstances.

Of course, after Thanatos destroyed his original self to be with me, Macha gave his incarnation as Keith no option in the matter. ‘Keith’ thought Macha’s attentions were great for the longest time and even if he’d chosen to live forever as such, he would never have gone completely celibate, but toward the end there, he really preferred to be intimate from a more spiritual perspective.

The present Thanatos was a little bit more compromising than the one born to Nyx, on how he related to others and what he'd do for them, but considering what little he’d agree to now, and considering how he was when he was ‘Keith’, Macha probably would have kicked him out of bed, and thrown something at him for good measure if he’d ever let her talk him into anything.

He was intelligent enough not to go there, however.

Thanatos slid off Gilgamesh. The horse was a bit large for him in his present form, but it wouldn’t pose any problems for him. They just looked a little awkward together when he was mounted.

They walked through the lush grass and fragrant wildflowers for a while. Perhaps he should bring Macha here later. How can anyone dwell on anything negative in a place like this?

Yes, he’d double up on Gilgamesh with her in his present form. He’d be less distracting to her.

For now, he’d enjoy a rare respite from everything.



*****



Unseen to anyone, Macha went back to the past as an observer. She went to different time periods, and watched over different battles. Punic wars, Peloppenisian war, the sacking of Rome, various other wars of Europe, and she found herself fascinated yet repulsed at the same time.

No, what she’d done was no worse, but at the same time it was still all so unnecessary.

Macha used to revel in this sort of thing. The carnage may as well have been a drug. Now, she wasn’t so sure. The old flame was only a dying ember, but she wasn’t completely over it.

She had no desire to run anyone through, nor take any heads off. It was tempting to try and ‘borrow’ someone, however. Nothing was more lusty than a man who knew he could die any minute, no holds barred. But no one on the battlefields could compare to her now defunct Keith, or even to Kevin.

If she could snort as she was in her formless state, she would have. No one came close to what she liked. Why bother? Nothing but perfection would do for her, now.

She left the battlefield, in disgust.



*****



When Thanatos met up with Macha again, he retained his original form; of the attractive, raven haired adolescent. She scowled. “Thanatos, why are you wearing that façade?”

“I think you should see me in another light, right now. It worked for Donn.”

She chuckled. “You want to arouse my maternal instincts or something?”

Thanatos tilted his head, and crossed his arms, “Coming from you, I’m not sure I want to go there in the here and now. And didn't you kill the only children you ever had?”

“Yes, considering my wrath regarding the circumstances of their birth. You’re a Hell of a lot more sarcastic than Keith ever was.”

“I see you took your own trip to the past. Your present reaction to the gore is an improvement, but you shouldn’t see people as your potential tools to use and do with as you will.”

“Like, you think after Keith anyone else can ever measure up?”

“Depending on how I translate that, quite a few men do.”

“Gods, Than!” She laughed. “Have you become the jester of the House of Donn?”

“Not really, but I was wondering if you’d like to ride double on Gilgamesh through the Elysian Fields with me.”

“With you looking like that? Everyone will think I’m either your mother or I robbed a cradle.”

“As we are now, we weigh close to three hundred pounds. I think Gilgamesh would prefer that to anything more.”

“Do I ride in front, or back?”

“I’ll give you the choice,” said Thanatos.

“I’ll ride behind you. Will you ever take the more adult form as you are?”

“I never have, and I see no point to it. It wouldn’t be conducive to my job, and due to the attachment I’ve developed to the convenience and aesthetics of the form you created, I’m taking that as soon as we get done with our ride.”

“I’m not complaining. By the way, I have yet to meet your twin brother.”

“Macha, is there anything else on your agenda right now?”

“Let’s go for that ride.”

“Can I trust you?”

“Oh, I suppose.”

Thanatos shook his head, and chuckled.



*****



Stefan scowled. “Donn, do you want to do something absolutely pointless and silly?”

“Dare I ask?”

“A wager!”

“It being?”

“We go to the far West corridor, run the perimeter of the castle in opposite directions, and the first one to get back...uh, how about if it’s you, I give you a back rub, and if it’s me, you pet my nose for half an hour.”

“Stefan, I don’t want to pet your nose for half an hour.”

“You think I’ll win?”

“Stefan, you based your form on mine. We are of identical weight, height, and everything else. You might win, and I will not pet your nose for half an hour. Pick something else.”

“What else is there?”

“I could give you a backrub.”

“Which I want about as much as you want to pet my nose for half an hour.”

“My dearest one, why are you so weird?”

“Me weird? Excuse me, but...”

“Stefan, what do you want, that I’m willing to give?”

“Will you pet my nose for five minutes?”

“Dude, I don’t want to pet your nose for thirty seconds!” I didn’t even know if he was serious. I was desperately trying to control myself, being I’d never heard anything so ludicrous in my life. A backrub did sound appealing, however.

“OK, then I want a snogging to die for!”

“If it’s the same kind of snogging we always do, sure! I’m game!”

“With a couple of nose pets?”

I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I busted up. “Yes, I’ll give you a couple of nose pets, and don’t you dare take off until I stop laughing.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. We’re not at the starting point, anyway.” His cloak disappeared.

“All right.”

We walked to the centre of the west wall. I thought this concept of a race was a bit amusing; and Stefan had me signal the takeoff.

We both tore down the hall, probably doing about twenty miles an hour, or so. We weren’t professional racers, we weren’t dressed for it, and we hadn’t enhanced ourselves so we could break any records. The only thing we had going for us, was that we wouldn’t tire.

By the time I turned the corner of the hall; I immediately regretted my wager! A cheetah was coming in my direction, at whatever deity knows what speed. “STEFAN, YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

When Stefan got to me, he retook his human form, and he fell to his knees, he was laughing so hard.

I had to join him in his laughter.

‘I guess I have to forfeit,’ I was forced to send him, being I was in no condition to say anything.

I got nothing back. Apparently, Stefan was in no condition to ‘think’ anything.

After he finally got control of himself, Stefan said, “I’m sorry, but I just had to do that. Where do you want your backrub? I'm the one who's forfeiting, being I cheated.”

“First, tell me if you were serious about the half hour of nose pets.”

“Hell no! It would probably get eroded, and I’d have to buy a new one.”

I smiled. “You are absolutely insane. How about my backrub in the grass of the oak grove?”

“Sure. Walk, or transfer?”

“Let’s walk.”



*****



Macha was behind Thanatos on Gilgamesh, and had her arms around his waist. “This place rivals Tir na nOg,” said Macha. “I’m surprised I’ve never visited here before.”

“You were too hung up on your own culture. Most of Hades is beautiful.”

“It’s an improvement over where I’ve just been.”

“Which brings me to the point of wondering what to suggest for you to get a proper perspective of yourself, and your past. I’m out of ideas.”

“If I had any ideas, there’d be no problem.”

“I wonder if I should ask my mother,” said Thanatos.

“Nyx? I guess it couldn’t hurt. We are on good terms, aren’t we?”

“If we weren’t, we’d know about it.”

“Are you going to invoke her?”

“I don’t have to beckon her. She doesn’t have to be here.”

“All right.”

Thanatos closed his eyes, in concentration. Both got a response. A feminine voice came to their minds; stating, ‘Macha, why don’t you go observe another battle, and view it from the perspective of the soldiers, and the civilian victims?’

“Ouch,” said Thanatos.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” asked Macha.

“That sounds like a fate worthy of Dante’s Hells.”

Macha slid off of Gilgamesh. “Yeah. I think I’d rather walk, all of a sudden.”

Thantos looked down at her. “Let’s got to the lake up ahead, over by the olive trees. We can sit there for a while. We really have to talk.”

“OK.”



*****



I loosened my belt, and sat down.

Stefan’s gloves disappeared, and he materialised a vial of oil. “Attar of noses?”

I chuckled. “I hope you mean roses, herr fetish meister.”

“Of course,” said Stefan.

The vial was open, and I could smell the rose scent. I slipped the tunic off my shoulders, and lay face down in the grass. “You’re in a good mood.”

Stefan poured the whole vial on me, and started working it in. “I suppose so.”

“A bit zanier than usual, but I love it,” I said as I closed my eyes.”

“Donn, I can’t read what inspired your painting of me.”

“It sort of mirrors our relationship. It’s asexually erotic, and the basic pose happens all the time, although I doo not vant you too bite mee on zee neck. I doon’t liiiike paaaaain.”

“That all?”

“Stef, when you were a kid, you used to want to be a vampire for a couple of years. You’re touch is a little too light. Can you put more into it, please?”

He increased the pressure of his back rub. “Sure, but I used to also want a sexy fanged companion.”

“Well, we have a fanged companion. Though affectionate and incredibly beautiful, I’d hardly call Thanatos sexy.”

“Not compared to Keith, huh?”

“Totally, not that he was technically my type then, either. That’s better with the backrub. Thanks.”

“Anytime. Donn, nobody’s been your type since you moved here.”

The backrub was nice, but, “Stef, let me up.”

Stefan, who was straddling me, without putting very much of his weight on me, moved to my side. I sat up, and slipped my arms back into my tunic, though I didn’t put it together, properly. I held my hand up with my palm facing him, and spread my fingers. He moved forward, and we intertwined fingers. He smiled sadly, and I just had to run the back of my right index finger down his right cheek. “Like this, both you and Thanatos are my type,” I said.

He gently took my right hand, and kissed my fingertips. “Please forgive me,” he whispered.

In a split second, he was replaced by his feminine version. Not a bad lookin’ chick, but the nose really looked better on Stefan when ‘it’ was male. The stage presence of that schnozz was just so overpowering, that it reminded me now more than ever of an adult riding a child’s tricycle, or something. Well, I exaggerate slightly, but Stefan as a ‘she’ wasn’t something I was used to, just yet. Stef had reserved that gender for Kevalyn's eyes, for the most part, and only in bed.

“Do I call you Stefan, or Stephanie?” I asked softly.

“Does it matter?”

I closed my eyes. “I’ll call you Stephanie when you’re in drag,” I said.

Stefan chuckled. “That’s a good one.”

“You do understand I still won’t have you.”

“I’m not asking you for that. I love you too much to risk messing up our relationship. I think this is a good time to become one in mind.”

I nodded, opened my eyes, and we unclasped our hands.

We moved closer, and she embraced me.

What happened next, I dare not put in print due to threats from Stephanie! Let’s just say in the illusion the present offered, she made me feel as protected, warm, fuzzy, and secure as Thanatos/Keith/whatever had ever done. Not quite in the same way...far from it in fact, but I had no complaints. She made me forget everything.



*****



After Macha and Thanatos sat down, Thanatos took the form of The Great White, again. “I don’t think you need the façade of a kid telling you you’re going to be facing a nightmare.”

“I suppose having been so selective with my empathic abilities is also a flaw of mine.”

Thanatos got beside her, and put his arm around her. “It’s held you back. It’s gonna hurt like Hell. You’re going to experience first hand what people go through when they see the one they love the most, hacked to bits before their eyes, or abducted to face the worst torture, or to see everything they ever built suddenly demolished.”

“Something you experience all the time.”

“Something every popular Gate Keeper experiences all the time.”

“I’ll be running to you in tears, no doubt.”

“Guaranteed.”

Macha smiled, and kissed Thanatos on the cheek. “And what do you plan to do about it?”

He stroked her hair, and smiled. “Give you a shoulder to cry on.”

“Is that all?”

“Macha, my dearest Macha. Will you give me some time to get over what you did to me in my last life, if I even ever do?”

“I thought there was no time.”

“It was a figure of speech, but I had a very long incarnation of basically being your well treated gigolo, and there’s a few things that you put me through, that don’t sit too well with me as I am now. I also didn’t like your motivation.”

“Does that mean I have hope?”

“Macha, those inclinations don’t exist in me, anymore. I do what’s necessary, and nothing more.”

“So you’re a lost cause.”

“For what you want, like finding a volcano on a comet, baby.”

Macha chuckled. “I still love you like anything.”

“I love you like anything, too. I want you with me forever. After we leave here, you should go take care of what you need to take care of, and I will definitely be there for you when you come back.”

“Can I have a good-bye kiss?”

Thanatos smiled. “Feign a passion for an action that means nothing to me?!”

“So why did you paint Donn and Stefan about to lay it on each other?”

“I think it’s a good representation of what they feel for each other.”

Macha chuckled, “Break a leg, and tilt right.”

Thanatos closed his eyes, and gave the best cinematic actor a run for his money with his kiss.



*****



After she was off, Macha proceeded to go through the worst trial by fire she’d ever been through in all her existence.







































































Chapter 6





Stefan, back in ‘his’ preferred form, stood up, and pulled me up from the ground, with me putting in about half the effort of getting to my feet. It was dark, now. “Donn, I don’t know how I can bear to be apart from you for even two minutes, anymore,” he said. He never re-materialised his cloak and gloves.

I stumbled a little, lost in my own reverie. “Uh, I don’t think I want to go anywhere away from you, myself.”

“What if the job calls?”

“We can postpone it. Shall we circle the garden?”

“Can you walk without falling on your face?”

I chuckled. “I wasn’t paying attention. I’m fine.”

“Then how about up to the tower after that? It’s cloudy, and the wind is picking up.”

I took his hand, and said, “I’d like that, but Stefan!”

“Ayuh?”

I chuckled. “Ayuh! For never having lived in New England! And you’ve got me sayin’ it now and then! Anyway, may I make a request of you?”

“I used to read Stephen King or something, all right? Shoot.”

“After the tower, can you switch back to feminine again, and can I pass out with you, after...another...you know...”

He slowly brought his forehead against mine. I picked up the Drakkar scent that never left him anymore. He said, “So near, and yet so far.”

“I absolutely love what you just did to me. Can you handle it?”

He kissed me on the forehead. “Yes, but if I wasn’t modified and deadened, I’d have killed myself a long time ago. Shall we go back to the castle entrance and turn to the left path?”

“Sure. I prefer the clockwise route, myself. You seem so unperturbed, most of the time.”

“Just don’t do any more paintings like you just did, huh? I’ll tell Thanatos the same thing. I was doing great, then I get sabotaged, and now I have to fight myself again, not that I can now live without those paintings.”

“Stefan, the main reason you want me, is to serve me. You want to drive me to where no one’s driven me before. Can’t be done. Thanatos, both as his complete self, and as ‘Keith’ already did it, and I don’t want to do it again. What Keith did was like getting hit by lightning, or picking up a live wire. Keith made me experience every sensation possible that he considered worth experiencing, and I simply don’t want to go there again.

“You already do more for me than either the time that I overlapped with Keith and Macha in the time trip incident with the whirlpool that I wrote about, or the time Keith 'Tantrasised' me to the point of where I'd been mortal, he may have killed me. What just happened between you and me has got to be the ultimate experience for me, in the here and now. I liked it enough to ask for more, huh? If I thought so highly of sex, we’d be having it. Trust me!”

“Then I guess, it’s enough! You’re so beautiful when you’re in a pleasant daydream.”

I chuckled. “More like, I’m so beautiful when I’m completely in your care, and completely vulnerable.”

“Damn telepaths!”

I just had to laugh. “Stefan, I adore you beyond measure.”

“Rivalled by Thanatos.”

“Well, that goes without saying.”

“Considering I feel the same way...I wish he were here.”

“Uh...after we wake up, please.”

“Dude! We’re not even in bed yet.”

“Stefan, I don’t want to share you right now. My feelings are so personal, and this is so exclusive, I want you all to myself until it’s over.”

“I understand.”

We walked the rest of the perimeter of the garden in silence, and when we got back inside the castle, we locked eyes. One of those mischievous smiles crossed Stefan’s face, and we both broke into an all-out dash to get up the tower.

We raced up the stairs, and had a light snogging session, as we looked over to Ireland. We’d have rain before daybreak, but no electrical show. We didn’t stay long.



*****



Thanatos went to our favourite couch of yore, with the perpetually burning fireplace, and beckoned Kevin.

“Kev, Macha is going to need us both, after she gets back.”

“What goes?”

“She’s off experiencing battles from the typical warriors’ perspective.”

“Ouch!”

“And that of those innocents caught in the line of fire.”

“Double ouch!” A cup of chai masala appeared in Kevin’s hand. “Part of the evolutionary process, I assume.”

“Recommended by my mother, so it’s probably the best and fastest way to get her to come around.”

“Nyx?”

“None other.”

“She never comes to visit us.”

“She will if you ask, but I wouldn’t bother her unless it was of critical importance. She’s even busier than I am.”

Kevin raised his left eyebrow. “It is so strange! I mean, right now you seem to be lounging around, but you’re in several dozen other places, placing recently defunct people, due to the time-trip factor. I’m still having a hard time with that.”

“That’s of no importance. Also, being that you’re so rarely dragged out of time, I guess that means you’re good at staying out of trouble. You have no clue how many times me and Donn have to do that to resolve issues with Stefan.” Thanatos materialised his own cup of tea. He chose white tea.

“Macha’s not like what Donn wrote about in his first book, anymore.”

“Macha is, and always was a sweetheart with a tough outer shell, which has been cracked too many times for her taste.”

“She misses you.”

“She misses Keith. Anyway, I’m always there for her when she needs me.”

“You’re always there for everyone.”

“You’ve never called on me once.”

Kevin shrugged. “I have no clue on why I should.”

“You’re completely ready for transfer to our next home; though I’m well aware of the fact you have no intention of going until we can all go.”

“I don’t have a fixation on where I’m at. All I care about is my music, and being with you guys. If Macha’s going to be a mess when she gets to us, what should I do?”

“Whatever she wants you to do.”



*****



Stephanie got the fire roaring, and ‘she’ killed the wall torches. “Temperature sensitive?”

“I suppose so. Adds a little something, in a place like this.” I pulled my boots off, dropped my belt on the floor, and got under the covers.

Stephanie also got out of her boots and breeches, though the leotards and socks stayed, along with her satin shirt. She fluffed up some pillows, and reclined against the headboard. “I’m going all the way sensitive. Unmodified, you know? Maybe you’ll haunt my dreams.”

“One of these days, I may feel guilty about how I am, not that this would necessarily accomplish anything outside of me feeling guilty.” I said, as I snuggled against her, and ran my hand down her arm, more to feel the sleek essence of the fabric that covered it, than anything else. “I can’t write about any of the specifics of what we’re doing, huh?”

“Donn Ui’Midir, if I find any of this in print, I will swat you! Not necessarily very hard, for the last thing I want to do is cause you any type of injury, but a rolled up newspaper may come in handy, if you dare.”

“Let my readers suffer from curiosity, then.” I snuggled against her, and...uh...proceeded to enter a state of oblivious bliss, and contentment that’s outside of awareness or consciousness. In due time, I entered the sweetest sleep I had any memory of.



*****



Macha was not in tears when she appeared before Thanatos and Kevin. She’d taken care of that before she got back to Tech Duinn on her own. She was delighted to have both Thanatos and Kevin waiting for her, however.

Macha sat between them, and pulled both of them as close to herself as possible. “Thanatos, you can thank your mother, and tell her I now feel worse about myself than I’ve ever felt before in all my days.”

“Good! So now the healing can begin.”

Macha looked at him with a scowl. “I swear I would have challenged you to a duel for a response like that, at one time.”

Thanatos ran his right index finger down her nose. “You can’t beat me anymore. We’d just be in the arena for a very long time.”

“Can the second generation from The Source beat me in the ring?”

Thanatos shook his head. “No more than Keith could.”

“I hate it when you talk like that. He’s not really dead. He’s a part of you. You remember everything he ever did from the moment that he woke up from the altar.”

“Being mostly Thanatos, who had a totally different style of existence, how do you think I feel about that?”

She leaned into Kevin, who put his arm around her waist. “Keith loved what we did together. We didn’t have any problems until I stupidly challenged his reserve.”

Thanatos smiled. “He was becoming more like me, as time progressed; and yes, I forgive you. I wouldn’t change a thing that happened between you and my last incarnation. I swear, you must be the wildest woman in all of creation, though.”

Kevin chuckled. “Macha, are you holding out on me?”

Thanatos looked at him. “Are you sure you want to go there? I mean, there is a saying about going places where angels fear to tread?”

“Is she that bad?” asked Kevin.

Thanatos pointed at her, and winked at Kevin. “Worse!”

It was an old joke, but both Kevin and Macha busted up. After they regained some degree of control, Thanatos suggested, “Macha, why don’t you see if you can do to Kevin like what I did to Donn in what he wrote about in his second book. You know how, in theory. Let Kevin decide.”

"If I have that kind of self-discipline," said Macha.

“That’s an idea,” said Kevin.

“But now, shouldn’t we talk about what you discovered about yourself on your last little excursion?” Thanatos asked Macha.

“That I’m an insensitive, cold, homicidal, sadistic jerk? Sure!”

“Are, or was?” asked Thanatos.

“I’m still a bit insensitive here and there, but I’m working on it,” said Macha.

“You don’t strike me that way, but is this a case of bring it all to the surface, and deal with it?” asked Kevin.

“Hell yeah,” said Thanatos. He stroked Macha’s hair. “And trust me! It’s working!”

“I sure don’t feel like it’s working. I’m absolutely miserable,” said Macha.

Thanatos kissed her on the forehead. “That proves it’s working. If you weren’t miserable, we’d be having a problem, love. A big problem.”

Macha ran her hand down Thanatos’ forearm. “Gods, I adore you. I just wish you were more how you used to be.”

Thanatos, ever so gently placed his fingertips under her jaw, and made her look at him. In his soft tenor, he said, “Macha, please! That isn’t supposed to be the focus of this discussion.”

“Ah yes! Let me continue to rue my former cruelty and bloodlust!”

Thanatos smiled. “You’ve already been thinking about it a lot. You got all the tears out of your system before you came to us.”

“Thanatos; is there even a need for conversation, considering you do know me better than I know myself?”

“The conversation is necessary to YOU, be it verbal or mind to mind. I can’t fix you. You have to do that yourself.”

Macha sat back, and caressed Kevin’s shoulder. Looking at him, she said, “I guess therapy isn’t just for mortals, huh?”

“Seems that way. Maybe you should do a Donn, and join him in chronicling your past,” said Kevin. “Writing things out helps a lot of people. I mean, the stories Stefan...or should I say, Kyle wrote, helped her, didn’t they?”

“I don’t think I want anyone to read any more about my past than what’s already been written,” she said.

“Private journal?” asked Kevin.

“Akashic Library?” asked Macha back.

“Oops!” said Kevin. “Never mind.”

“Well, Kevin? Any other suggestions to help domesticate the Red Dragoness?” asked Macha.

“I don’t think we want to tame you Macha,” said Kevin.

“No, we don’t,” agreed Thanatos. “We just want you to forgive yourself, accept yourself completely, find peace, and innately understand what everything is as it should be, including yourself.”

“I think later, I have some more meditating to do.”

“And now?” asked Kevin.

Macha smiled at him. “I think I could use a pleasant distraction.”

Thanatos stood up. “See you guys later.” He faded from view.

Kevin scowled. “Here?”

“No! My room!”



*****



I woke up first, and found my head resting on Stephanie, and she was somewhere between sitting, and lying down. My left arm was asleep, being under her, and the rest of me was pretty much wrapped around her as much as it could be.

I rolled over on my back, and pulled my left arm from under Stef. I could have fixed my problem by simply transferring out and coming back, but I chose instead to do it the mortal way, and I flexed my fingers, and rubbed my forearm.

The still unconscious Stephanie had a trace of a smile on her face. Her dreams must have been as good as mine, if I even had the right to speak in past tense. Was she in REM now? I didn’t want to wake her.

I reflected on my own dreams. The one I remembered most vividly; was one where we were doubled up on Shiva, with Stephanie behind me. We were on a planet with a red sky that looked magenta due to the large sun being halfway down on the horizon. We were the only ones on the planet, and the psychic communion between us was a total euphoriant. I looked at her, and though I didn’t want to wake her, I lost all will power, and gently draped my right arm over her, and got myself back down against the pillows beside her.

She stretched. “Hm...Donnnnnnnnnnn.”

I faced in her direction. “None other than.”

She embraced me back. “Nice dreams. Too close to reality, but nice.”

“I dreamt we rode Shiva in an alien landscape. You?”

“We were snuggled on the main couch, under cover of a blanket, tea in hand. That’s what I just woke up from.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Yours was better.”

“After I get enough willpower to get out of bed, want to go for a ride somewhere?”

“Where?”

“Let’s get off the island,” I suggested.

“Niflheim?”

“Now about Tir na nOg, or if you insist on a Nordic place, why not something more pleasant, like Asgard, or something?”

“I thought you like dark and foggy.”

“I do, but I don’t want to go to Niflheim. That’s not like the walks in the garden we take, on foggy nights. Trust me.”

“You ever been there?” asked Stephanie.

“No! I know better. The place is more like the Arctic.”

“Donn?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to get out of bed either.”

“Well, if we both give in to our impulses, we are going to spend all eternity here, so maybe we should just force ourselves to get up right now.”

“OK. Let’s go to Tir na nOg, then.”

“Yes, let’s.” I got into my boots, picked up my belt, and put my tunic in place, while Stefan, who had switched gender again, put himself together.



*****



Thanatos transferred to his flat in The White City. Ye gods, Macha could be exasperating at times.

Oh, well. She’d been harder to deal with. Now, he simply wanted peace.



*****



Macha lay on her side, studying Kevin. Both were still dressed. “So, shall I work myself into an insane, complete frenzy of lust where I can feel everything I ever did, has done to me, and force you to feel everything I do?”

“Couldn’t hurt, I guess.”

“Shall we do it the same way Keith did it with Donn, or shall we add a little pizzaz?”

“And what do you have in mind, my dear?”

“How about we do this while we’re connected? That might make it a little better.”

“Sure. Sitting down, in mutual embrace?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Kevin would more or less end up going into shock.

























































































Chapter 7





Stefan and I didn’t double up on any horse. We rode our own un-tacked lieges, and we avoided everyone to the best of our ability. That wasn’t hard. Tir na nOg was quite vast, and not very crowded. We raced Hesper and Shiva over a field, into some hills, to a small, secluded glen with a stream running through it. We both slid off the equines, and let them know they were free to do as they wished. They actually deserted us, and we wouldn’t see them until way after we got back to Tech Duinn, though both Stefan and I were indebted to them for a grooming.

No problem.

Stefan and I sat by the stream. “We have done nothing useful, since you introduced me to what you won’t let me write about,” I said to Stefan.

“Isn’t it about time we took a complete vacation, and just lived to have a little fun?”

“Said the soon to be heroin addict.”

“Donn!”

“I’m dreading to be called to work, I want to go to sleep with you later, even though from a pragmatic perspective; I need that about as much as I need a bowl of blood pudding with cling peaches, and Stefan?” I opened my arms to him.

He came into my embrace. “I’ve corrupted you completely, right?”

“Completely, totally, to the hilt, and all the way!”

“After we go back to Tech Duinn, why don’t we hit the ice? Will that make you feel better?”

“Much!”

“And then we can snog, et cetera, and pass out.” He unclasped his cloak, and pointed ahead. “Apricot tree looks like it has one hell of a harvest. I think I may actually break down and have one.”

I shook my head at his unspoken thought of getting some extras for me. “Don’t get any for me. I’m not interested anymore. I have a hard time with solid food these days.”

Stefan got up, and ran to the tree. He picked off two apricots, and ran back. He pulled off his right glove, bit into one, and waved it under my nose. “Are you sure you don’t want the other one?”

I chuckled. “Stefan, I know what they’re like, I know these Etheric apricots can’t be beat in the taste category, but I’m over it. I just can’t get them down. It’s out of my nature, now.”

Stefan shrugged. “OK.” He ate them both, wiped his hand in the grass, and re-gloved it.

Apricots, I didn’t want. Stefan, or Stephanie rather, was another matter. I extended my right hand to him. “Stephanie!” A not so enigmatic request for him to change gender!

He looked at me, smiled, and tilted his head. He did change gender, and ‘she’ closed the space between us, and held me to her currently delectable self. “Donn, I can’t get enough of you, either. It’s like if we’re two feet apart, it’s too much.”

“Hm! We’ve gotta get... ‘over it.’ I went telepathic to finish the sentence, and closed my eyes, to let myself get thoroughly intoxicated by the feelings my technically platonic lover was sending me, and I blissed out in a state of absolute emotional surrender, among other things.



*****



“Macha, I didn’t know some of the things I've felt could be felt, not to mention some of the new things I've learned that could be done,” said Kevin.

“If I’d known you’d react like this, I think I would have chosen another time for this little exchange,” she said with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry, but considering what I've just been exposed to; I feel like I’ve just invented the wheel, found a new star, and found out how to start fire all at once.”

“Is this a bad thing?”

“No, but it’s a mind blower. It’s only obvious I’ll never measure up to Keith in this way or the general scheme of things, but I’ll do my best for you, though considering the state of mind I’m in now, that’s gonna have to be later.”

“Kevin, before I killed him, I am under the definite impression that Keith didn’t want to measure up to Keith in that general scheme of things, and Thanatos is perturbed by what I’d introduced his former incarnation to, so don’t feel bad. I’ve done what I’ve done with Keith in my existence, and I don’t care for more than half of it, so it’s OK. A lot of what we’ve done, we only did once to try it out, and never again. Don't worry about it.”

Kevin laughed. “Thanks.”



*****



Stephanie kissed me on top of the head. “A-dri-en!” she said, slowly.

I laughed. We were one in mind, and I knew what was coming. “Yes, Stef?!”

“Considering how we were at one time, and I was your mother in a past life, does this make our current relationship incestuous?”

I couldn’t help it. SO HATE ME, WORLD! I just had to outdo Stephanie in the crude sarcasm every chance I could, I had a comeback, and nothing is sacred, all right? “I don’t know. Maybe. Then again, you know we are all part of the same thing. We are all part of The Source, so does that mean when anyone or anything at all is making use of another for it’s own pleasure, The Source is a’she-boppin?”

“Aiiiyah!” Stephanie busted up. “Donn, I can’t...believe...you said that! That has got to...be the ul...timate in sacrilege.” she got out in between her gusts of laughter.

I laughed, too. “Yes, Ms. Too Bad Carthage Lost The War, Or We Could Still Be Sacrificing Our Children To Baal Hammon And Tanit.”

“Aztecs, too.”

I regained control of myself. “Oh yeah. Lot’s of cultures, really.”

“I guess one convenience of not having the pill, was the family could have a decent meat loaf that night, huh?”

What a way to conclude an intimate session. “From a practical perspective, not really, unless you’re mostly into internal organs.”

“In England, then.”

“Or further to the north. Long pig haggis, huh?”

“Think I’ll pass,” said Stephanie.

“If I can’t get an apricot down, I don’t think I could get this menu down, either.”

“So can we tear ourselves away from each other to get ourselves to the ice rink?”

“Gods, and there are times we might have forty feet or so between us. Think we’ll survive?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’ll be tough.”

“Donn, can I ask you a personal question?”

“You don’t have to. I’ll tell you the answer, though. It’s not going to happen. Let me tell you something else! I want Donn Ui’Midir to die a virgin. Maybe after I retire, after I focus on Ahau Kankin, I’ll see if I can manage to accommodate you, but not before, all right?”

“All right.”

“Please don’t bring it up again.” (I can dream, can't I?)

“OK. Let’s go to the rink.” Stefan switched to the masculine.



*****



When we landed in the middle of the rink, both Stefan and I got absolutely flattened. Thanatos flew through us. He wasn’t physical, and in a lower density state than us, so there was no conventional impact, but having a stark white holographic image hitting you from one side, and coming out on the other, along with the sense of having been hit by a really pleasant electrical shock is not going to do much for your sense of vestibular stability.

Neither Stefan nor I were injured in our fall, but we were a bit surprised to see Thanatos on skates, in his white clothes and sashes. “Apparently I’ve been busted,” he said, as he skated over to us.

“No harm done. Thank the gods you’re High Etheric. So how long have you been skating?” I asked.

“A while, but not like you. I go for sheer style over substance, if you get my drift. No Physical or Etheric limitations, you know?”

I took Stefan’s hand. “I assume you’re a treat to watch,” I said to Thanatos.

“I am.” He looked at Stefan. “Can you watch me, without relegating me an ice god?”

‘If I can borrow you again, after the performance,’ sent Stefan to Thanatos. “I think so,” he said aloud.

Thanatos scanned Stefan. ‘I guess you can have me...to a degree. I see you’ve reached a nice compromise with Donn.’ “All right.”

‘Unfulfilling, frustrating when I revert to my preferred unmodified self, which I tend to do, but closer than ever, and better than anything before.’ “Thanks.”

‘I suggest you keep yourself modified for the time being.’ “Blue Oyster Cult, of course,” said Thanatos.

‘Hope and lack of willpower and more hope for a dream, which hasn’t happened yet, prevent me from doing that.’ “Of course.”

‘You’re a fool sometimes, Stefan. Accept that nothing can happen for now. Relationships as beautiful as what you and Donn have don’t come around every day, so don’t mess it up by risking a loss of control over yourself. Don’t torture yourself unnecessarily, and I’m sorry I did that painting of you two so soon. I should have waited until Macha was closer to being able to move to the Other Side with us.’ “All right.”

Stefan winked at him, and looked at me. We skated to the benches for the ice show of ice shows.

The Blue Oyster Cult song was ‘Astronomy.’ He did three more. He ice danced to ‘Time After Time’ by Cyndi Lauper, ‘Gimme Shelter,’ by the Rolling Stones, and of course, Kyle Shannon’s ‘Take Me.’

Thanatos unbound! The grace, the beauty, the skill, and the defiance of reality had me spellbound.

I’d be doing another painting, very soon. Like, as soon as possible.

I had no idea that as soon as the performance was over, Thanatos took Stefan out of time, at this point in time...which yeah, doesn’t really exist.



*****



“Oh gods above, and below! I’ve never seen anything like that,” said Stefan.

“What Donn and you do, actually takes more skill. What I do is eighty percent mental. Beautiful, but a cinch.”

Stefan stepped toward Thanatos, and gently ran his fingertips down Than’s chest. “Do I have to stay male again?”

Thanatos hesitated before answering, and he didn’t answer Stefan’s question. With a scowl, he asked, “What if I told you I’ll take care of you, but please don’t touch me.”

Stefan shook his head. “No! I can’t handle that. Can we do that backward?”

“What if I said no?”

“I think I’d ask you to take me back to the rink. I can’t do that.”

“You can switch gender.”

Stefan did just that. “Why are you asking these questions? Don’t you already know what I’m thinking, and going to say?”

“Hm hm. I’m asking for your sake, not mine. You’re also here with me for your sake, and not for mine.”

“I know. To you, I might as well be a coffee table.”

Thanatos chuckled. “Not quite, but I know what you mean. Stephanie, this time you are not going to get what you want with me, either. Maybe you never will.”

Stephanie stepped forward slowly, and embraced him. “Can we start with me giving you a total oiling?”

Thanatos held her back, in a gentle hug. “No. You know how Donn is, when you do for him what you once swore you’d do for no one?”

“You want me to...”

“Uh-uh! No way! I want you to tell me what will bring you into that same state of mind that you put Donn in when you do with him what you have forbidden him to write about, short of going Astral.”

“Of course, you know the answer.”

“Yes, but tell me anyway. What do you envision? Tell me everything.”

“Of course we’d both have to switch gender. You sitting down, me facing you, we hold each other, and you send me the same type of thoughts I send to Donn, sort of, your version. Of course, I’d prefer for us to be physically connected.”

“No, we do NOT have to switch gender. I can do this regardless of what I am, but let’s do that.”

“I’m NOT gonna ask how you can do this in male, but it’s so hard to give it up after it’s over. I can’t bear leaving him, or not touching him. All I can think of is that I want more. The oneness. The merging of identities, the love, the tenderness, the ability to make him happier than he’s ever been in his life! The chance to make him forget everything that ever happened to him, and in a way the same thing happens to me, only I have a strong focus on him while he’s in love’s oblivion.”

“Just trust me with the gender thing, but that’s the way of The White City,” whispered Thanatos. “Only there’s a connexion with everyone there, and not a single individual, and it’s not so obsessive.”

“Nice! Thanatos, I may rue that I say this, but let’s keep our clothes on for this one. Never mind about the physical connexion I wanted.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “Gods, I love you.”



*****



Of course, when Stefan came back, I had no clue ‘he/she’d’ been gone. A change in his demeanour should have been a hint, but I was too awed by Thanatos’ performance to have noticed that Stefan seemed calmer than I’d ever seen him.

Stefan and I totally forgot we were going to skate, by the time Thanatos brought Stefan back. I was fixated on painting the beautiful ‘Snow Ghost’, and Stefan was too zoned to remember what happened ten seconds ago.

The three of us walked up to the main art studio, very slowly, after Thanatos switched his skates to a pair of regular white boots. I was in the middle. I eventually noticed Stefan was in quite a daze. I scanned him, and smiled. ‘What are you on, babe?’ I sent him. I just caught his state of mind, and not the fact he’d been gone; being I hadn’t looked that deep.

He looked at me, and smiled. ‘I just adore you two so much. That performance, you and me, everything.’

With Stefan being Stefan, that made sense. “Are you going to watch me do the whole painting?” I asked him.

“Hell yeah,” he said, with a giggle.

“Same,” said Thanatos.

“All right.” I ruffled Stefan’s hair, and looked at him. “I appreciate the company.”

Stefan sort of purred.



*****



Stefan snuggled next to Thanatos as I set my canvass up, and it wouldn’t be long before they both had a teacup in hand.

It was convenient that Thanatos was still in his skating outfit. I drew a picture of him in the middle of a jump. His left leg and left arm were straight out to his left side, right knee pointing right with right leg bent, right arm bent with right forearm parallel to left arm, and face in profile, looking left. His hair was flying left. When I stood back from the sketch to let my model and Stefan see it, Thanatos said, “I love it.”

“Same. Absolutely gorgeous,” said Stefan in a dreamy voice.

“Well, this ‘ill be fast and easy. The only colours I have to use on you is white and blue,” I said to Thanatos.

“A bit of red for the eyes, my dear!”

“Oh, yeah.” I picked up my brush, and looked at Stefan. I scanned him again. I put the brush down, and walked over to him. He looked up at me with a ‘stoner’ smile, as I stroked his hair. “Thanatos, what did you do to Stefan?”

“Uh...same as what he...or rather she, does with you.”

A look of amazement crossed my face, no doubt. “You -censored- him?”

Thanatos probably looked even more stunned than I did. Perhaps a bit indignant, as well! No, definitely indignant. “No, I didn’t -censored- him. Actually, he was a she, I was a he, and I refer to the psychic aspect of what Stefan does to you. Granted I'm the only one here who can do it as 'he', but I personally don't need to go 'yin' with my further evolution and knowledge to take anyone to the place between touchdown and deliverance. Sheesh! What do you think I am?”

I smiled, went over to him, and kissed him on the forehead. “Never mind.” Touchdown and deliverance! What a way to phrase it!

Thanatos laughed. “Ye gods! What kind of an out to lunch question was that? Has the effect of your psychic surrender not worn off yet?”

I looked to the ceiling. “You know, I don’t think it has? I still feel so euphoric. So out to lunch! So at peace! Not a care in the world.”

Thanatos, suddenly looking like he found a cure for all the ills in existence, stood up and embraced me. “Oh, Donn! Stefan! Thank you for everything!”

“Huh?” asked Stefan.

“I should try this with Macha,” said Thanatos.

Stefan! Leave it to Stefan. “You’re going to -censored- Macha?”

Thanatos looked down at Stefan. “Stef, one day, I’m gonna getcha, and I’m gonna getcha good! I’m gonna come up with something that’s going counter all these little derisive little comments of yours.”

“This I must insist on being present for,” I said. “And get him back for me, too.”

“What did he do to you?”

“He challenged me to a wager based on who won a footrace in the outer halls of the fourth floor, and he ended up turning himself into a cheetah.”

Thanatos laughed. “Ye gods, that’s a classic. Have you told Kevin and Macha?”

“No. I was hoping to tell all three of you at once, but apparently it didn’t work out that way.”

“Actually, I’m not sure I can top that one,” said Thanatos.

“I beg you to try,” said I.

“Oh yeah! Same! I beseech you from the farthest reaches of my nostrils,” said Stefan

Thanatos looked at me. “Isn’t that beyond the ends of the universe, or something?”

“At least,” I said chuckling. “I better get on with this painting.”

Stefan motioned Thanatos to sit beside himself. “That’s one hell of a fine compliment, Than.”

He flicked his wrist. “Any time.”

The two of them snuggled, while I started painting in my sketch.



*****



Little did we know, but Thanatos left! He stepped out of time, and he’d be back the same time he left, so we were none the wiser.

He had to see Macha, and zeroed in on her. She was in her room, working on ‘The Meaning of Happiness,’ by Alan Watts. Good timing!

‘Macha! Incoming!’

“Hello, Than.”

Thanatos landed on the corner of her bed. He’d dressed in his usual outdoor woodsman garb. “Hi!”

“What’s up, babe?”

He smiled. “Shall I explain it, or send it to you?”

“The latter is much faster.”

Thanatos nodded, and closed his eyes.

Macha, on receiving the information, commented, “Hm! I almost wish I could be Donn.”

“You and Stef don’t have that type of relationship. It couldn’t work.”

“Neither do you and me.”

“We never did. Neither did you and Keith.”

“True, but it doesn’t matter, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. Not with me, anyway,” said Thanatos.

Macha closed the book, and put it on the nightstand. She patted the bed beside her. “So, you want me to just give myself to you?!”

“Part of yourself.” He crawled beside her. “In the same way Stephanie gave a part of herself to me.”

“Herself, huh?”

“Her mind. I did offer more of myself to her with reservation, but she was polite enough to turn me down, valuing my feelings over her lusts.”

“And I suppose you love her/him/it/whatever more than ever because of it.”

“Of course. Stefan...Stephanie...whatever knows I only do what’s necessary.”

“That doesn’t make for a whole lot of fun, to have a semi-unwilling partner,” said Macha.

“That’s not what I mean, and that's not what you used to think.”

“I used to be far more selfish. So I guess all I ask of you is to hold me, before you figuratively dunk me into the River Lethe.”

Thanatos stroked her hair, and kissed her on the cheek. “I want you with me forever. I really do.”

"You should ideally be in the feminine to take me over, according to what Stephanie does."

"Ideally, but I'm powerful enough to make my illusory gender irrelevant to the procedure. And do you really need or even want any more than what I'm offering you?"

Macha smiled. “No. Not now, anyway. Later I may want to try that out, though. Maybe once. Lay down, so I can wrap myself around you, and you can be my pillow.”

He dematerialised his boots, and catered to her request.

Macha rested her head on Than’s chest, and they held each other.

Thanatos took Macha to a realm of peace, she hadn’t even dreamed of.



*****



Macha passed out, and Thanatos stayed with her, reading her Watts book while she slept. He occasionally looked into her dreams, and influenced them to a degree. Every once in a while, he’d stroke her hair, send her a mental caress, and basically made sure she’d wake up feeling better than ever.

Thanatos finished the book before she woke up, so he gently roused her. “Babe, Donn’s working on a painting of me from when he and Stefan busted me on the ice. I want to go back.”

She stretched out. “Hm. You skate now?”

“Sort of. Not like Donn, who puts mortal confines on himself, but like the Etheric creature I am around here, without any physical limitations. Doesn’t take nearly as much skill, but it sure looks good.”

“I’ll have to see it some time. I also want to see the painting.”

“Want to come with me?”

“Sure,” said Macha.

“Also, Donn has a funny story. Shall I tell you?”

“Yeah.”

“It was just that Stefan challenged Donn to a race in the perimeter hall of the fourth floor, and Stef changed himself into a cheetah after they both took off in opposite directions. Donn had a backrub at stake. Now the only one who doesn’t know is Kevin.”

Macha laughed. “That wasn’t nice. Kev left me to practise guitar a long time ago. I don’t know where it is now.”

“The race was a joke, so Donn got the backrub anyway. Let’s go. I can’t wait to get back. Are you walking in, or transferring, so I have to explain I time tripped outta there?”

“I’ll make your life easy, and walk in. By the way, I feel great. Thanks.”

“We’ll do it again, later.”

“Thank you eternally. Ever want to switch places?”

“Macha, the state I took you to...I’m already there ninety nine percent of the time. There’d be no point.”

“What about the other one percent?”

He smiled, and ran his right index finger down her nose. “That’s when I think about what you put Keith through.”

She chuckled slightly. “I’m sorry I asked.”



*****



Thanatos came back to a few seconds before he left, holding Stefan, who was snuggled against him.

Thanatos! So cool! So controlled! So not capable of being fazed! Except when feeling undying gratitude. ‘Stefan,’ he sent him. ‘I have to confess I just left you to take care of Macha. She’ll be by soon. You have no idea how thankful I am to you for what you started.’

‘It just sort of happened. It wasn’t premeditated or anything. Donn and I fell into it. He’s just so sweet, and the way we were, and we just...I just had this overwhelming desire to take care of him in every way I could, this idea spontaneously came to me, and he was only too happy to let me play the part,’ sent Stefan.

Thanatos put his forehead against Stefan’s ‘Spontaneously, huh? Wonder if it was your idea, or it was fed to you. Me thinks because of this, Macha shall progress a bit faster, and hopefully I’ll be able to take you all to my other home shortly.’

‘If anyone fed it to me, it was probably Nyx. I’m not gonna ask, though. I’ll just take it as it is. I still remember the time I dreamed of your other home when I was mortal. A Lovecraft novel reminded me of it, too.’

‘Kadath! Hm hm. Howard walked both worlds. It’s what he called our city. He saw it.’

‘In the story, he dreamed of it three times.’

‘In reality, only once! That’s all that it takes.’

‘Does anyone visit it in dreams more than once?’

“Ascended masters.’

‘What’s it mean to see it in dreams?’

‘Last life,’ sent Thanatos

‘How can someone like H.P. Lovecraft have been racist?’

‘You were a racist, and a culturist. In fact, you’re not over it all the way. You still see certain sets of people more interesting than others. Racism can be shown in favouritism as well, and not always in a derogatory fashion. Your fascination with the Native Americans, and aboriginal peoples of Africa and Australia, and your interest with Vietnam, and how at first you couldn’t deal with Caucasians as a Gate Keeper.’

‘But I don’t think any race is inferior. Everyone just adapted certain traits to exist in their environment.’

‘Lovecraft was a very sick person. Lots of health problems. His life was very insular, so he didn’t know any better, when he was on Earth. I never researched him after he died. I love his books, and I read of his life, but I never met him. I could ask you if you want to meet him, but I sense the answer would be, no.’

‘You sense right. I don’t want to meet anyone off the job that doesn’t live here.’

Thanatos enveloped Stefan in his arms, ‘And they call Donn the aloof one.’

‘I guess we’re both the same.’

‘Very compatible.’

Macha picked that time to walk in. She kissed Thanatos on top of the head. “Hey, ya slut!”

I turned around real fast for that one. “What?!”

Macha draped her arm over Thanatos. “If you must know, Thanatos just sent me through the gates of Heaven, and now he’s wrapped around Red Tail like there’s no tomorrow.”

I chuckled, and returned to my painting. “Well, I guess ultimately Red Tail is responsible for the whole concept of this new way of making out.”

Macha went over to Stefan. “So I hear.” She stroked his hair. “Thanks, babe.”

“Maybe there’s something outside of myself that gave me the idea, that you should be thanking,” said Stefan.

“Whatever, love.” She sent Stefan a mental caress, a little more, and he absolutely shivered.

“Oh, gods,” whispered Stefan.

Thanatos looked at Macha, and narrowed his eyes. ‘Macha!’ he sent her. ‘There is only one issue I am having problems with, as far as my past life goes! You never gave Keith a choice. You just had your way with him, as if he didn’t have a mind of his own, for the longest time. You just up and did things with him, like he had no opinions, and again; he didn’t know any better than to object. True free will was not on the menu. Don’t do that to Stefan.’

Macha kissed Stefan on top of the head. ‘Do you want me, babe?’

‘Sort of.’

Macha winked at Thanatos. ‘That’s good enough for me!’

Macha and Stefan disappeared from in front of the stunned Thanatos.



*****



Macha and Stefan landed on Macha’s bed. “Define sort of,” said Macha.

Stefan was too shocked to be afraid. “Uh, I don’t know.”

“What do you want from me?! Will you tell me, or shall I probe your phantasies?”

“They’re pretty tame, with you. I can’t get into screwing as a guy. I prefer to be female for that. I just picture myself oiling you, exploring you...stuff like that. Same stuff I can do to you if I were a chick.”

“Do you want to do that to me now?”

“It’s kind of sudden.”

“Do you want me to take you back to watch Donn finish the painting?”

“Can we say ambivalent?”

“You decide!”

Stefan scowled. “Macha, this switch hitter thinks you are the most gorgeous thing in female it ever did see, besides Kevalyn. I really want to make love to you, but at this point in time, I do not want to fuck you, and I don’t know if I ever will want that. If you can live with that, pick a flavour of oil, and I will try to give you the best sensuous massage you ever had with more to follow, though I’ll probably fail miserably compared to Keith.”

Macha closed her eyes, and nodded. “Attar of roses.”

Stefan took his cloak and gloves off, and materialised a vial of attar.

“You prefer I undress myself,” said Macha.

“You...uh...still...uh...”

“Intimidate you. All right.” She dematerialised her clothing, and lay on the bed. “Break a leg, honey.”

“Will you still respect me in the morning?’’

“Stefan, do I respect you now?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“If I didn’t, you’d be shagged, baby. Shagged, and shagged hard.”

Stefan chuckled. “Thanks.” He’d definitely be keeping his clothes on for this session.

“And I do love you. I know I don’t show it much, but I love you as much as anyone else here.”

Stefan poured the oil on her back. “I love you, too. I’m also flattered that you ask for the company of the likes of me.”

“Babe, I want a friend, not a worshipper. OK?”

Stefan rubbed the attar into her back as gently as he could. “OK.”

“Gods, that feels good,” said Macha, as she struggled to maintain a calm, accepting façade.

“Cool.”

































Chapter 8





I was halfway done with the painting when Stefan and Macha got back. Of course Thanatos and I had been speculating on what changes would occur within the relationships of Tech Duinn. From the looks of Stefan, it wouldn’t be bad. He immediately sat beside Thanatos, and wrapped one arm around him, and pulled Macha in his own direction, leading her to sit by his other side. There was obviously no reason to even wonder about anything.

“So Than! When are you going to put on an ice show for every one of us?” asked Macha.

“After the painting, and as soon as Kevin makes itself available. That OK?”

“Fine. Donn, that is absolutely gorgeous.”

“You say that about all my paintings,” I said.

“Well, you can do no wrong,” said Macha. A cup of un-creamed jasmine tea appeared in her left hand.

“Thanks,” I said. “The rest of this is easy.” I put my brush down, turned around, and dragged my stool over to the rest of the gang, sat down in front of them, and materialised my own cup of tea, though it would be creamed China black. “I think I’ll join you for a short tea break.”

That inspired both Stefan and Thanatos to materialise their own cups. Stefan had chosen to let go of Macha, after he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I looked at Stefan, and gave him a mental caress. He winked at me, and smiled. I reached forward; he let go of Thanatos, and touched his fingertips to mine. No, we didn’t leave. He blew me a kiss, and we disengaged. Thanatos raised his teacup. “To what is to be.”

“Oh yeah,” said Macha.

“Totally,” said Stefan.

I just raised my cup, saying nothing.



*****



When I finished the painting, we beckoned Kevin. He was with us in seconds. “Wow! Awesome!”

I chuckled. “Valley boy, huh?”

“Like totally, fer sure, ya know? That’s great. So Than! You skate?!”

“Vaguely,” said Thanatos. “I told these guys I’d give a demo after Donn finished the painting.”

“I want to see it too,” said Kevin.

“All right. First let us tell you about the cheetah incident,” said Thanatos.



*****



The first piece Thanatos put on was an instrumental called ‘Music Box Dancer.’ The show he’d put on this time would surpass the last one.

Thanatos went translucent, and he formed a vast, electric blue aura around himself of shimmering light.

Well, he made it plain that it was not a strictly Etheric show.

I had no idea how he did what he did. The show was outside of Etheric reality. It was almost like watching a three dimensional cartoon.

Yes, he did things like switch jump directions in mid-air, and he went into spins so fast you couldn’t tell what he was anymore, and I was beginning to wonder if we were watching Thanatos, or a projected image.

Part of the time he was obviously Lower Etheric, however. He left tracks on the ice. He could skate, and he was damn good. As good as me, from what I could tell! Maybe better. After all, he was a bit more powerful than I, when we were in a state where it mattered. Hence his jumps had a bit more height and distance, among other things.

Thanatos gave us a performance to five tunes. He left his audience astounded. When he skated over to us, I asked, “How, may I ask did you do half the stuff you did?”

“Astral energy for the light show, fading in and out of here, leaving only an image when I wasn’t really on this plane.”

So I was on to him. “That was spectacular. You can obviously skate for real, too.”

He ran his right index finger down my nose. “I had good inspiration, and a good teacher.”

“I never gave you lessons,” I said.

Thanatos smiled. “All I have to do is watch. You learned the same way, babe!”

Stefan asked, “Can you teach me how to do what you did with the blue aura?”

“I can tell you how it’s done, but you won’t be able to do it. Stef, I am older than the Earth itself, in this stream of consciousness. I have fewer limitations than you, at this point in the game. Later, huh? Though by then you probably won’t be interested.”

“Still, that was quite an impressive show,” said Kevin.

“Not really,” said Thanatos. “The visually spectacular stuff is just a matter of concentration.” He pointed at me. “And you! Thanks for the painting!”

“I couldn’t help not do it. You know how I am.”

Thanatos smiled. “Yeah! See something you like, you have to have it on canvass. So now that we’re all together, shall we do something like another interplanetary trip, or something?”

Stefan asked, “Can you set up a visual tour of The White City, without us actually being there?”

“Like video clips, maybe?! Sure. I can set something up in a few minutes. Donn, I have to add on another room to your castle.”

“Fine.”

Thanatos closed his eyes. “Northeast corner, first floor. Let’s all hold hands, and I’ll transfer us.”

Stefan, me, Thanatos, Macha and Kevin was our order. We were shifted to the ‘video room.’



*****



Thanatos had set up a five-seater couch. The screen was forty inches, and only Stefan and Macha materialised a teacup. Thanatos started the videodisk telekinetically, and we saw a world that left Tech Duinn in the dust. There wasn’t even a place on our interplanetary travels that came close.

Thanatos commented, “There’s always a soft music in the background. The closest thing I can come to describe it is that it’s like classical music, but not quite. Also, like I said before; there is a thread connecting everyone there, so you feel a strong solidarity with every inhabitant of The City, and the sense of love and togetherness is overwhelming. To lose it is one of the most debilitating things you can feel.”

“What happens when you transfer from there to here?” asked Stefan.

“Me? Nothing. I’m there now, as well as here.”

Stefan scowled. “Never mind.”

“I dreamt of a place like that once, when I was alive,” said Kevin.

“I know,” said Thanatos. “I already told Stefan, but everyone who’s on their last life, dreams of The City once.”

“I never read about that anywhere, though we did read about The City,” said Kevin.

“It’s pretty arcane knowledge,” said Thanatos. “It doesn’t matter, though. Not anymore. Also, yes, let’s watch the video again, maybe with fully focused attention,” he added, referring to everyone’s unspoken wish.



*****



After a third viewing, a lengthy discussion accompanied by four or five cups of tea per individual, Kevin and Macha went one way, and Me, Stefan and Thanatos went another. Me, Stef and Than ended up going to the room dedicated to ancient Egypt. Stefan seemed out to lunch again. I put my arm around his shoulder. “Thinking of The White City?” I asked him.

Thanatos answered for me. “Actually, he’s thinking about going to the other side of sanity with Macha.”

Stefan chuckled. “Thank you for sharing.”

“Not like you wouldn’t have admitted to it,” said Thanatos.

“True,” said Stefan.

Thanatos ruffled his hair. “Well, if you want to go for the ride of your life without a seat belt, that’s the way to do it.”

“Other side of sanity. That’s one hell of an analogy. You’re a better poet than I,” I said to Thanatos.

“You haven’t written any verse in ages, Donn,” said Thanatos.

I shrugged. “Lack of inspiration.”

Thanatos said, “Stefan, mind if I tell you that you and Macha are not compatible?”

“Oh?”

“You’re so damn gentle, and into refinement and finess. She likes ‘em wild and uncontrolled. People who show their appreciation by their reactions, you know? Using me as a role model for how you want to be in bed won’t exactly mow her lawn.”

“Voice of experience?” I asked sarcastically of Thanatos.

“Actually, yes. I ceded myself to Stefan. If I was into that sort of thing, I’d want him again,” said Thanatos.

I scowled. “Him?!”

“Donn, I am having a real hard time with the thought of standard copulation right now, and that was the best way to get out of it, considering Stefan’s state of mind at the time.”

Stefan materialised a cup of creamed China black. “It was a fruit-lite encounter, but thanks for the compliment, Than.”

‘Fruit-lite’? Ye gods! For the decillionth time, only you, Stefan! Only You!

Thanatos kissed Stefan on the temple. “And thank you for being the way you are.”

Stefan rubbed the side of his head against Thanatos’ shoulder. ‘Gods above and below, you are the ultimate,’ he sent Thanatos.

‘Along with Donn, I assume,’ sent Thanatos.

‘Goes without saying,’ replied Stefan. ‘It’s almost like what’s the difference.’

‘I’m five inches taller, and a little paler.’ Thanatos looked over to me, winked, and smiled. It would be creamed jasmine for him.

Last but not least, creamed lichee black for me. “So we are we nearing the end of our experimentation with how we are going to relate to each other, yet?” I asked.

“I’m not sure there ever will be an end to that,” said Thanatos. “After all, we’ll never stop changing, huh?”

“I think there is one thing that won’t change,” said Stefan.

Thanatos stroked his hair. “You’ll never stop loving us.” At the moment, due to Thanatos’ telepathic invasion, Thanatos might as well have been Stefan

Stefan smiled. “Damn right!”



*****



After Thanatos left us, Stefan and I walked back to the studio, and we took the painting toward the proper wall for mounting. “Do you want to go to the garden, or make out our way after I get this painting up?” I asked.

“Let’s go to the garden first, or we'll never get there. It’s so hard to let you go after what we do. I don’t want to do anything else. Also, you’re not disappointed in me, are you?”

“No. Why should I be?”

“Never mind.”

I laughed, as I scanned him. “You don’t do that to a telepath, my dear. I don’t care if you’re curious about Macha. I just hope that she’s nice to your somewhat inhibited self.”

“I’m working on that.”

“Well, with Macha, you’ll probably get a trial by fire.”

“You’re doing a wonderful job putting my mind at ease.”

“Any time.”

“You know I was being sarcastic, right?”

“So was I.”

Stefan laughed. “Why are we hand carrying this painting?”

“Oh let’s not get too spoiled, huh? A little bit of work won’t kill us.”

“Actually, you do a lot of work. I seem to be one of the laziest ones here.”

“I don’t consider painting, or skating, or any other art work, babe. I consider that sheer pleasure.”

“I consider my finished products sheer pleasure, but getting there is a mixed bag, for me. I’m still nowhere near as accurate or fast as you. I make so many mistakes, compared to you. Also, I only do a real good job on my drawings. None of my attempts at paintings are worthy of your walls.”

“So practise more. What’s the excuse? You don’t have to pay for art supplies any more.”

“You know, I think I will. After we make out.”

“You might as well be on a opium fix after we make out. I figure that might be a while, considering we like to go to sleep after it’s over, and then there’s how long it takes for you to recover after that. We can also put this painting up here.”

“OK. You take a while to come back to Tech Duinn after our sessions yourself, lover.”

I materialised four nails into the stone wall. Like Hell I was gonna use a hammer! Two for hanging, and two for support! “Yeah, I guess so. Love in oblivion is nice. Let’s hang this puppy.”

“Gotcha.”

We put up the painting, and walked to the garden, hand in hand.



*****



Kevin was laughing, “Macha! Look who he hangs out with! I know he’s absolutely gorgeous, but you really think you’re going to get ten percent of what you want with Stefan?’’

“He does give damn good backrubs.”

“Oh, don’t I know it. Even when ‘IT’ was Kyle on Earth, she gave good backrubs. If I were you, I’d really do a thorough looking into him before making any moves. Reality might not measure up to phantasy. Don’t hold it against him.”

Macha chuckled. “I love the guy. I really do. I am just so damn curious, and so is he. Maybe it will work.”

“Ye gods, Macha! Well, whatever. You two have my blessing, but I’m expecting the sitcom of the century, which I assume will not be recorded.”

“Damn right it won’t be recorded!”

“Well, since Stefan isn’t here now, and I am, will I do for now?”

“Fuck, yeah!”



*****



Percy found us in the garden, and he jumped into Stefan’s lap. Stefan crossed one ankle over his knee to make a more comfortable perch for the cat. “Of course we go nowhere until my sable liege allows me leave.”

“No need to explain. It must be hard having two masters.”

“Say what?”

“I think I've asked this before, but what if Percy and Shiva wanted you at the same time for different things.”

“Hasn’t happened yet, but I’d probably spontaneously combust or something.”

“Maybe you should suggest they talk it over and come to a compromise over who gets you first, being that if you do spontaneously combust, they both lose you, not to mention that I’m left out on the line to dry.”

“I’ll do that, if it ever happens.” Stefan materialised a cup of white tea, and he stroked Percy with his free hand. “He looks so like an Egyptian god.”

I looked down at Percy, and petted him myself. “Yeah, he’s so perfect that it’s hard to believe that he was born, and not made.” The cat was purring very loudly. “I think we’re going to be here a while.”

“I don’t know. After we get our fill of the great outdoors, couldn’t we just transfer Percy to the bedroom with us?”

I didn’t quite laugh. The gardens of Tech Duinn being referred to as ‘the great outdoors’ hit me as being a bit amusing. “Ask permission first, of course.”

“Oh, yeah.”



*****



Percy left us before we wanted to transfer. There’s not much to say, on what happened next. Same old tale! We wrapped ourselves around each other, and got about as lost in each other as we could, et cetera. Best thing that could have happened to Stefan, before seeing Macha.

He’d put off trying to paint for later.



































Chapter 9





Before any moves had been made, both Macha and Stefan had a long talk, and a light mental merging. Macha scowled due to the unwanted but obvious concession that had to be made. “No Stefan, you are absolutely right! You and me getting more intimate would definitely be a mistake right now.”

“I’m sure I’d feel pretty bad about it afterward. I just couldn’t live with myself if Donn wasn’t next, now that I have a glimmer of hope with him.”

She smiled. “Donn is so lucky to have you. I hope he can go through with it, after we transcend this place.”

“I was doing fine with this self-suppression, until those damn paintings. I can’t believe how those two inadvertently ganged up on me.”

“Like Thanatos said, too bad he didn’t wait until later to do his, and too bad Donn didn’t do the same.”

“Oh, well. Doo-doo happens.”

They embraced. “You know Stefan, you really are a lot of fun when you’re not there.”

“At present, more so then when I am there.”

“Damn right!”

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”

“Considering the circumstances, yes I do.” She kissed him on the nose.

“So, do I at least make a good nose toy?”

“Get out of here!” exclaimed Macha, as she gave Stefan a push. He almost fell not so much from the shove, but from laughing over the incident.

Macha chuckled a bit herself, and after Stefan recovered, they went to the garden just for a walk.



*****



After his time with Macha, Stefan went to his room to work on what he hoped would be the greatest painting of the collection. The canvass was a three by four. What he had in mind would be a bitch and a half, and he figured it might take the equivalent of a year to complete...if he could get me the way he wanted me...in that time. Or would he even ever be able to finish it?

He laid out the sketch little trouble. Thanatos was lying on a cloud, face down, with a very serene expression on his face, in the form he usually wore here. The Great White, as we jokingly referred to him as.

Stefan drew Thanatos in ‘Keith’s’ old battle outfit of loincloth, boots, baldric sword harness with claymore, and gauntlet. I was below him, and the bottom half of me faded out into a gaseous wisp, but I was reaching up toward him, and we had a firm grip on each other’s wrists with one arm, and I was just reaching up into the air with my free arm. Thanatos seemed to be bracing himself with his free arm. I was dressed in my usual silk tunic. Stefan went very light on my expression, making it easy to change, but he tried to get me to look as enraptured as possible.

After he laid the sketch out, he put it in the closet, and closed the door.



*****



After Stefan put the painting away, he beckoned Thanatos. Thanatos already knew why he’d been called, and he said to Stefan, “You have got to be one of the most impractical, bass-ackward individuals I have ever met. You’re a novice painter, and you want to picture Donn and I in a spectral, transparent manner. That’s only one of the most difficult things to do.”

“So, can you help me? Advise me?”

“Stefan, you are a little shite, but how can I turn you down? Yes, I can help you, and I swear, if you ever ask me for anything like this again...”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ll think of something, but do you have any idea what I have to go through to get you to do the painting?”

“No.”

“Trust me, but this is the only way you’ll be able to do it without working your way up to it in what correlates to quite a few years of practise, but I’m going to have to do a copy of what you’re doing first, and you’re going to have to imitate me. Do you know how much I am going to enjoy doing that?”

“About as much as being forced to listen to Lawrence Welk for the same duration?”

“Actually that’s a damn good analogy. Yeah, that about describes it,” said Thanatos.

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Yes! There sure as Hell is!”

Stefan smiled. “What?!”

“You wish, you little bastard!" exclaimed Thanatos, as he read Stefan. "Anyway, what I really want is for you to do the best goddamn job you can, and have it worthy of mounting on the wall.”

“How do I get Donn’s expression? I want him totally ecstatic.”

“Don’t you dare wait for him to cede himself to you! We won’t even be here, anymore. Film him when he’s skating. You’ll get it a few times. He likes that better than he’d like sex, anyway.”

“You’re kidding?!”

“No! Same goes for me, of course.”

“Of course. There was a time when he was interested in sex, though. He even wrote about that in his first book. You, as your true self never were.”

Thanatos stepped forward, and placed his index finger under Stefan’s jaw, raising it slightly. “Twice, as Keith, I took him to sensual heights that were beyond anything you could imagine, kiddo. Twice he decided he never wanted to go there again. You and him are not wired the same.”

Stefan scowled. “When I serviced you, didn’t that feel pretty good.”

Thanatos crossed his arms, and smiled. “So does heroin, cocaine and speed, babe.”

“That’s an interesting way of looking at it.”

“Throw sex into the picture, and have you ever wondered which is more addictive, or destructive to mortals?”

“I’ve never thought about it. Thanatos, why did you do that picture of me and Donn about to kiss?”

“Would you like to sit down before I make this confession?”

“Is it that bad?”

“You will be surprised, but I too, am really a hopeless romantic. I thought that picture I did was absolutely touching, tasteful, and beautiful. It’s very blatant regarding the love between you two. I’m also glad to share this love with you as a third wheel, even though you are going to very shortly put me through a meat grinder, garbage disposal, microwave oven, and acid bath, in analogy.”

“Will you’re guiding me to do that painting be that difficult?”

“Stefan, you are a great artist. You do flawless, ravishing sketches. You’ve done some OK paintings, but note how none of them decorate the walls of Tech Duinn, and you want this one to be in one of the most difficult styles imaginable. What do you think?”

“Oops!”

“But I want to see this painting, too. It’s your idea, it’s a beautiful idea, and unfortunately it obsesses me as much as you, so I am going to give it my all to help you turn your dream into reality.”

Stefan spread his arms. “Hug?”

Thanatos stepped forward, and embraced Stefan as well. “Stef, I really love you. I know I’m being a bitch right now, but I can see what I’m in for. Just do your best, OK?”

“OK. Shall we step out of time when you’re ready?”

“That would be advisable. I’m ready any time. It’s you who’s going to dictate when we work on it.”

“I’ve got the completed sketch in my closet. I guess I could add some paint now.”

“You want to do it in your room to stash it from the eyes of Donn, and surprise him. Let’s transfer there. We can work there. I’ll set up a duplicate canvass, and show you what to do.”

“You have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

“Stefan! I am a TELEPATH! A telepath with a more objective view of yourself than you can ever hope to have.”

“If I can ever repay you...”

“You know what I want. I already told you.” Thanatos kissed Stefan on the forehead. “Let’s go.”

They went. They didn’t stop on the painting until the portrait of Thanatos was completely finished. It was a long, painstaking process, and Thanatos had to work harder on keeping the flustered Stefan from abandoning the project than he did at guiding Stefan with the painting.



*****



Thanatos and Stefan landed on the old couch with the perpetually burning fireplace, after they ended their first stint on the painting. The time they spent on it was the equivalent of about sixty (illusory) hours, with Stefan bitching up a storm for almost all of it.

“This is one way to become a damn good painter real fast,” said Thanatos.

“I love what I have so far, but boy, is it a pain.”

“I warned you.”

“Thanatos, can I ask you a question?”

Thanatos answered the question. “I think Keith was great. I’ve kept his form, his grace, his elegance, I never get off the dance floor either, and I’m glad to say he’s an influential part of me. Living that incarnation was a definite asset to me.”

“Uh, can you now let me start asking my questions again? This is kind of bothering me.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Sorry.”

“But of course, it’s always like this. You usually just ask us stuff out of consideration to us.”

“Most of the time, but not always. Now, I just have to keep you going on that art project. I also know you’re contemplating keeping Donn’s face blank until the day you have him. It will bother me immensely if you do that. Please do another copy of the painting if you’re going through with that, and finish this one according to my instruction of just getting the right look during one of his skating sessions. It will be more than good enough. Trust me! I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I can do that, but I don’t know if I want anything on the wall before both are done. I’ll see if I can do the second painting on my own time, so you don’t have to go through with dealing with my currently exasperating self for such long, intense periods.”

“Actually, you’re doing a damn good job. The work you did on me is perfect. Donn will be harder, though. Getting the same effect using colours is going to be a challenge. I’ve never done this myself, you understand. I just learned how to do it in theory, when I found out you needed the information.”

“You’re good at making theory reality.”

Thanatos shrugged. “I think nothing of it.”

Stefan snuggled against Thanatos, and got an arm around himself. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

Thanatos stroked Stefan’s hair. “This is more than enough. I love just being with you. You’re as funny as Hell, some times. You’re also as silly as Hell sometimes, and you set yourself up a lot. You provide endless amusement and entertainment, Stef. My existence would be a drag without you, not to mention that I really do appreciate your feelings for me.”

“You dwell on that a bit.”

“Stefan, let me tell you something so that maybe your conscious mind can be made aware of it. Love is the most precious thing there is, and let me stress this, no matter what the source. Do not value my love or Donn’s love beyond what you get from anyone or anything else, ever. It’s all of equal value. Never dismiss it.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

“Please! This is very important. The ancient Celts were correct in their belief that everything is equal. They had a lot of things right. Too bad they were destroyed.”

Stefan scowled. “Everyone who had it right was destroyed.”

“Donn wrote a little about this in his first book, but if you have everything right, you are THERE! You need nothing else, and you move on. Life is for those who have everything wrong, and for those who want to guide others to the correct path.”

Stefan scowled. “I wanted to try to make the world a better place as Kyle. I failed miserably.”

“Stef, you salvaged Kevin, and Percy, and you gave several thousand dollars to The Nature Conservancy, Greenpeace, Humane Society, and Amnesty International. You also helped some other friends to a lesser degree, but you kept them going, huh? That’s not failure by my standards. If you help one soul, you’ve done more than enough.”

“I did a bit of damage, too.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“And again, how many lives were lost because of me? How many plants and animals had to die for me?”

“How many plants and animals had to die to become your food? A lot. Sorry, but Physical life is a predatory circle. Can’t escape, but Physical life is ultimately not that important, is it? You eat the shell of whatever you ate. You didn’t eat its essence.”

“But outside of your tea, you don’t eat, because you don’t want to inconvenience anything.”

“True, and I have no innate desire to eat. I have no drive or necessity, and unlike my Olympian relatives, I never adopted it, since that’s very inconvenient to me personally. All unnecessary impulses are. Before I was Keith, I didn’t even drink tea. Now I don’t want to give it up, only because the ritualistic aspect of it brings us closer together. Which reminds me! I have a desire to go Astral with you, in a little bit.”

Stefan smiled. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Keith shook his head, and chuckled. “Stefan, Stefan, my dearly beloved Stefan. I repeat! I am a telepath. I know everything about you that there is to know.”

Stefan tightened his hold on Thanatos. “Gods, there is no way to get close enough to you on the Etheric Plane.”

“The White City is still Etheric, but everyone’s connected, there. That’ll be better. It’s closer to Oneness.”

“Can you take me there from an Astral perspective? Can we see it without the sense of loss, after we’re done?”

“You? No! You’ll be hurting, regardless of what form you have.”

“Can you help ease the pain?”

“Do I even want to see you in tears again?”

“What’s one more time?”

“I’ll take you to The White City before we go Astral. We can check out my flat and neighbourhood. Let’s check it out in Etheric form, so you can get the most of it, all right?”

Stefan smiled. “All right.”

“You probably won’t think the pain was worth it after it’s over, though.”

Stefan shrugged. “I never claimed to have the most common sense in existence.”

“Stefan, you don’t know the meaning of ‘common sense.’”

Stefan smiled. “Ain’t that the truth?!”



*****



Thanatos’ flat was two and thirty rooms. Two and thirty very large rooms! It was thirteenth floor, top floor, and had immediate access to the rooftop gardens. Copies of the best paintings of Tech Duinn covered the walls, and there were potted plants all over to place. A covered, uninterrupted walk way surrounded the outside on each floor. Thanatos had three rooms devoted to books dealing with philosophy, poetry, history and myth. There were no bedrooms, but every meeting room had seven place spots. ‘Two for guests,’ Thanatos explained to Stefan, when he wondered why. 'Our sequestered existence will come to an end, here. This isn’t Tech Duinn.’

Thanatos even had a room for Percy, with cat structures, and multi-level walkways on all the walls.

Stefan found the ‘angelic classical’ music that permeated the place, addictive. It was absolutely beautiful. That sense of love and solidarity that Thanatos spoke of did as much for Stefan that anything ever could hope to do for him. It was paradise.

The building where Thanatos lived overlooked a vast park on two sides of the building. You could make out the trees, sculptured gardens and statuary, and they put my garden at Tech Duinn to shame.

On the other sides of the complex, were more buildings, though they were all lower. There was a museum, two buildings down, a library a bit further, and of course there were absolutely no commercial buildings, being the place had no economy, and everyone was self-contained. It was a city devoted to art and beauty. The sense of peace and unity enveloped Stefan.

Stefan asked if a walk in the park would be all right. Thanatos agreed to it, and he laughed when Stefan mounted the stair rail for one Hell of a slide down.

Thanatos transferred, and waited on the bottom, doing some temporary changes to the ‘landing area’ to minimise chance of injury to Stefan, despite how superfluous that injury may be, considering where they were. Thanatos got rid of the post at the bottom, and materialised a thick, soft, mat in case Stefan, who’d probably have picked up quite a bit of speed on the spiral staircase, didn’t land on his feet.

Stefan ended up on his rear, Thanatos hoisted him to his feet, and they both laughed, as Thanatos put everything back the way it should be. As they walked to the park, Stefan sent, ‘You were right! I never want to leave here.’

‘You’re a pretty borderline case. You could stay, but I’m not leaving Macha behind. She’s getting real close.’

‘How long, do you think?’

‘I’m working on her. According to your line of sequential thinking, I think we can have her ready in the equivalent of three or four months. I’ve never seen her so considerate of others, as she is now. She just has to work a little more on forgiving herself.’

‘Can I help?’

Stefan got his nose stroked. ‘You already have.’

Stefan and Thanatos met two other couples, as they walked the garden. Both were a set of man and woman, and the greetings exchanged were warm, all encompassing, and all parties were absolutely stunning to look at. ‘Your cat room! Does Percy spend time here?’

‘More time here than Tech Duinn! He’s got lots of feline friends, here. Note how you’re seeing less of him?’

‘You’ve got a point.’

‘Stef, I hate to tell you this, but I think we should be moving along. We’ll be going direct Astral, we’ll blend the nano-second we get there, but you’re still going to feel the most depressing void you ever felt in your life. I’ll be able to help ease it, but there’s no way I can help you completely eliminate it.’

‘I think it was worth it.’

‘I think in a few seconds you are going to change your mind.’

Thanatos proved to be right.



*****



Macha stood alone in the tower, looking toward Ireland. All would soon be relegated to another era. None of it mattered. Lessons had been learned, there would be more, but in another ‘class,’ in another ‘school.’ So, she’d done it all. The good, the bad, and the in between! How else was anyone going to progress?

She hadn’t been that bad. She couldn’t hold a candle to Elisabeth Bathory, Vlad Tepes, or Gaius Caesar Germanicus, a.k.a. Caligula. She placed her elbows on the north window, her chin in her hands, and smiled. She got a sense of what I liked so much about the tower.



*****



When Stefan and Thanatos got back to Tech Duinn, Thanatos made sure they landed in tight embrace. “Oh gods, this isn’t enough,” moaned Stefan. “After what we’ve just been through, I feel like we’re continents apart even now.”

“I warned you, babe.”

“I wish I hadn’t gone, but at the same time, I wouldn’t trade the experience in for anything. I feel absolutely terrible. I’ve never been so depressed in my life. Even the Astral make-out session didn’t help.”

“You’d be feeling worse if we’d done anything in another sequence of events.”

“I believe it. Thanatos, I don’t know when I can let you go again.”

“When I have other matters to attend to, I could sling you over my shoulder and wear you like a stole, or you could make life easier on me by becoming a gerbil or a rat, and I can put you in my front shirt pocket, being it would be a bit awkward for you to be my fashion accessory for too long.”

“Ye gods, I’m sorry.”

Thanatos narrowed his eyes. “Let go of me.”

“Huh?”

“Just let go.”

Stefan did just that, with tears starting to well in his eyes.

Thanatos picked Stefan up from his standing position, and cradled him in his arms. He transferred them to Stefan’s room. “Stef, change gender.”

“You’re kidding?!”

Thanatos smiled. “No! Change gender, concede yourself to me, and though mentally; our roles will be reversed from what you do with Donn, I think both of us would get a kick out what you won’t let Donn put down on paper. I can make you forget the pain like that.”

“Gods, I would love that!” Stefan took on its feminine form.

“Then I’m going to time trip us back when you fall asleep, or Donn is going to think we both fell off of the face of the Earth. We’ve been together for quite a while,” said Thanatos, as he gently put Stephanie on the bed.

“I wish he were here,” said Stephanie as she unclasped her cloak, and pulled off her gloves.

“Soon. After we get your head in gear, and after your nap. This is a two party deal. There’s no room for a third individual. This is not group therapy, and again; it is a bit personal, considering what this will entail. Leaving your boots on?”

“I think so. I guess you’re right about the third party. I never dreamed you could be this nice, before I met you.” Stephanie got herself comfortable.

Thanatos got beside her, and worked his left arm under her. “Stef! We have more similarities, than differences.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Relax, now. I’m going to take you away, past the Lethe. When you wake up, all the pain from being forced to come back from The White City will be gone.”

Stephanie closed her eyes, and smiled. She put her right hand into Thanatos’ hair, as he got comfortable.

Stef forgot all about The White City in minutes.

Thanatos plastered her with the standards of the interlude, and drove away all her cares. As soon as she passed out, Thanatos time tripped himself and Stefan backward, and he went to the garden to beckon me.































































Chapter 10





“Donn, I took him to The White City. We stayed a very long time. I showed him our future home, and the park beneath us,” said Thanatos.

I scowled. “Is he OK?”

“She’s fine. I took Stefan Astral after we were done, it wasn’t enough, so I had him take on the feminine form, and I took her over, if you get my drift.”

I scowled. “You asked Stef to switch gender for that?!”

Thanatos sighed. “I took her over mentally! Everything else was like with you and her if you know what I mean. Donn, how far removed do you think I am from you? We like a lot of the same things, and take comfort in the same.”

“I can’t imagine being other than the completely passive party, but I get where you’re coming from. You were with him/her a long time? It seems like I just saw you. Time trip, huh?”

“All the way. We got a lot accomplished. She’s out cold in her room now, and she shouldn’t wake up alone, considering the state she’s in. She misses you a lot. Maybe we should go back, and we could sit on the floor, or set up a couple of chairs or something, have some tea, communicate sans vocal chords, and wait for her to wake up.”

“Sounds like a good idea. Transfer or walk?”

“She just passed out. I think it’s safe to walk. Might as well enjoy the halls of this place for what little time we have left, considering Macha is the only one holding us back, and her days here are rapidly coming to a close,” said Thanatos.

We started walking to the entrance of the castle. “It’s tempting to ask you to take me to The City.”

Thanatos took me by the hand. “Well, I guess I can do that now, considering we can fix the crash of coming back, huh? Want to do it now, and we can make sure to time trip back to before Stephanie wakes up, or take care of her/him/it first?”

“Stephanie first. I don’t want any issues or distractions hounding me when we go. I wish she’d tone down the nose a little when she takes the feminine form.”

Thanatos chuckled. “She’d probably tell you them thar’s fightin’ words.”

“No doubt. I don’t think I’ll suggest it to her. I don’t want to risk getting whacked by offering any constructive criticism of her pride and joy. Or should I say ‘its’ pride and joy.”

“Sure. It doesn’t seem to fit into a gender-type personality anyway.”

“I’m not sure I do, either,” I said.

“I am sure that you don’t. You just do what you want to do. You were lucky to not be corrupted, and you were just allowed to grow up being free to be yourself.”

I shrugged, “Nice, coming from the household I was in. With daddy being a warrior, and mamma becoming a virtual berserker after Etain came into his life?”

“Sometimes it’s nice having parents who are a bit too preoccupied with themselves to try to mould their kid into another version of themselves.”

We walked into the castle. “Oh yeah,” I had to say. “I agree fully. Do you have a gender-type personality?”

“I don’t know. I prefer the masculine body; while I have a body, I seem to fall into the traditional male category of problem solver and protector, but my mother’s even better at that than I am. I hate to fight, and really compete on any level. I like my feminine facial features, I’ve kept the way Keith moves; which has been second nature to me forever, but that deliberate grace would be more expected of a woman not that I’ve ever seen anybody move like me. I can’t really say. I don’t think so, since ultimately gender isn’t very relevant.”

“You strike me as being a scholar, artist, counsellor, and very helpful,” I said. "You're one of a kind."

“I’ve never met anything remotely like you or Stef, either. Of course, I mean this in a good way.”

I chuckled. “Thanks.”

“Hey Donn! Want to run the rest of the way to Stef’s room?”

“You’re an entity after my own heart,” I said, and we took off at a mad dash. Thanatos had to wait up for me after he flew up the two flights of stairs. He took them three or four at a time, to my two, and he was noticeably faster than I, in his present form, especially going up stairs. His powerful, wiry body was made for speed, though I already wrote that, somewhere.



*****



Stephanie was still out cold, when we arrived. I relit the dying fire, and threw the top cover over her, leaving her still booted feet in the open. ‘Looks like she was in a hurry to get down to business,’ I sent.

‘Understandable. The pain was unimaginable.’

I looked at her. ‘Maybe the nose isn’t that bad when she’s female.’

‘Got used to it, huh?’

‘I guess so. Gods, I wish I’d known her longer.’

‘Of course, being everything is as it’s meant to be, the timing was perfect, no doubt. The dysfunctional Kyle Shannon personality, and all?’

I lay beside Stef, and stroked her hair. She didn’t wake up. “Hmmm.” I said aloud. I half reclined against the pillows. ‘I think I want a cup of...uh...China black.’

‘Good stuff, but...’ he materialised a cup of creamed jasmine ‘I think I prefer this, now.’

I materialised the creamed China black. ‘I sort of wish she’d wake up.’

‘Give her a little while longer. Let her enjoy her dreams of what probably constitute a platonic make-out session with me.’

‘Yeah, that’s usually what I have after this, but with her, not with you.’

Thanatos smiled. ‘Usually, huh?’

I pointed at him, and smiled. ‘You know, lover; one day I’d like to surrender myself to you. I think I'd like us both to stay as we are.’

‘That can be arranged. Some day.’

‘Which reminds me! I told Stephanie I’d have her after I retire, but I always wanted you to be the first one.’

‘I was your first one in the only way that matters when you were a kid, before you became a Gate Keeper. Remember that day in Hades?’

‘How can I forget?’

‘Give what you can only give once, to her. You’ve been her love for longer than anyone. Sounds like a fair deal.’

‘Thanatos, can I ask a weird, theoretical, kinky question?’

‘What if you hit culmination on Ahau Kankin on the minute of transfer? Can I ask a question too?’

‘Shoot.’

‘How the Hell would I know? I’m sure Stephanie would accommodate you in a second if you asked. Tell me about it, if there’s anything odd or spectacular, though I really doubt there will be. I can see no plausible reason why there should be.’

‘Sure. If it happens! If I even work any more! I am somewhat curious about it, but I’m not on fire, you know?’

‘Why don’t you go sensate, and see if you even still function?’ he asked with a very subtle smirk.

‘No! Not now!’ I then got the jist of what he said. I scowled. ‘Damn it, Thanatos! I’m not going to test myself. Very polite way of putting it, but NOT nice! What kind of a suggestion is that?!’

He chuckled a little. ‘A sarcastic one! I’m sorry, but good luck.’

‘Thanks.’ I had a sip of tea. ‘I want to talk to her about her view on The White City, before I go.’

‘Good idea! I wonder if I should leave you two alone, after I finish my cup.’

‘Wouldn’t she rather have both of us here?’

‘Yeah, but for this talk, maybe it’s better I’m gone. I mean you can always beckon me, huh?’

‘I suppose so. I don’t really want you to go either, though. Can you leave after she wakes up?’

‘I’ll do that, love.’



*****



Gods, my curiosity was driving me nuts, but Stephanie was not waking up. Thanatos and I went through another three cups of tea, and I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I stroked her hair, and nosed her forehead. “Stef,” I whispered.

“Hmmmm.”

“Stephanie.”

She stretched, and reached forward, and smiled. “Oh, Verrrrgil”

Thanatos busted up, as I said, “Stephanie, its Donn! Donn Ui’Midir! Vergil Xanon is a figment of your imagination.”

Stephanie opened her eyes, and sat up. “Oh, shite! Donn, you got me up from a killer dream.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Hello, Than. How long have I been out?”

Thanatos said, “Maybe about the equivalent of three hours. Donn is having a hard time waiting for what you think of The White City.”

Stephanie changed back to masculine gender, pulled his boots off, and got completely under the covers. He materialised himself cup of un-creamed white tea, and the rest of us just couldn’t resist joining him in another cup of our present mood. “Absolutely peaceful, benevolent, beautiful, and all that’s good. The inhabitants are all a knockout, I hear. I only saw four people, but wow! There’s a prevailing atmosphere that just takes you over, and it’s so nice that leaving it is like getting your heart cut out, or something. If Thanatos hadn’t taken me over, so to speak, I think I’d be devastated right now.”

I looked at Thanatos, then at Stefan. I kissed Stefan on the forehead. “Can we please go Astral in a little bit?”

“I’d love to.”

“I want to experience what you went through as painlessly as possible.” I looked back to Thanatos. “I think I want to hold off a little on the trip to The City.”

“Understood. You know, you two, I should be going for a little while. Stef, you really had me chained and bound for quite a span.”

I couldn’t resist. “That must have been a sight to see.”

Thanatos laughed. “Donn! I was speaking in analogy! Sheesh!”

I smiled. “After what you said to me on whether or not I still function, you deserved that!”

“I do apologise, my love. I can’t argue with you.”

I blew him a kiss. “Thanatos, get out of here.”

He winked at me. “Later!” He pointed at Stefan, “And you too”

Stefan smiled. “Oh, yeah.”

Thanatos faded out.



*****



Stefan finished his tea, and dematerialised the cup. “Thanatos is a lot funnier than Keith.”

“Keith wasn’t really into barbs at anyone’s expense, but he obviously had a sense of humour.”

“Ever willing audience. You cannot believe how happy I am for The Great White’s company. Can you tell me if Thanatos has changed a lot since his incarnation of Keith?”

“Other than the fact that he used to be completely un-hedonistic, kept Keith’s body for when he’s with us, he still chronically moves like poetry in motion, no. The Thanatos I met in Hades when I was a kid, was a little more into sheer practicality, but there isn’t that much difference in the innate personality.”

“Has he always had the sense of humour?”

“Hell, yeah! Speaking of his soul, he’s also probably the most beautiful entity I know.” I paused. “Well, along with my grandfather.”

Stefan gave me a wistful smile. “I’ll have to agree, but you seem to rival him. When do you want to go Astral?”

“Soon, but first can I make a theoretical selfish request and imposition on you first, provided it’s even possible; considering some ambivalence on my part?”

“This sounds interesting.”

“Ahau Kankin! To enter the new era, we have to go to Earth on that day. I know sex isn’t really my thing, but I figure if I’m going to have it for the first time with an actual other person, I want to go down like a ball of fire, and I was wondering if you could attempt to ‘take me to the other side of sanity’ as Thanatos has been known to say, right about when time runs out, according to the Mayan calendar.”

Stefan just sat there, looking very thoughtful for the longest time. “You think it’s that easy?”

“I don’t know. Isn’t it?”

“Sounds like you want me to do all the work, and if that’s the case, the answer is definitely no. I don’t even know what you like.”

I shrugged. “I never thought of that. I don’t know that either.”

Stefan smiled. “If you want me to try to get you to climax at a certain set time, you aren’t going to be losing your virginity, if you want me to have control. Also, there is the question on what technique would grow your grass, you know?”

“Never mind.”

Stefan grabbed my hand. “Donn! Don’t do that to me! Don’t offer me the only thing I want, and renege! Please!” He squeaked. His voice had totally cracked.

Ye gods! “Stef?”

“Oh, please! Couldn’t you let me practise? Just once? Maybe I can do that for you.” A tear fell from his left eye.

I pulled him down on top of me, and held him tight. “Stefan, why do you do this to me?”

“Why did you make that request?”

“Considering all we’ve done, why is one little superfluous activity based on a drive to procreate; which is really a repugnant concept to you, so important to you.”

“I used to be mortal. It was the only way that I knew of to really pleasure someone, and it’s something you’ve never, ever let me experience with you even once, and it can be so good! I’d leave your precious virginity in tact.” Tears were streaming, by now.

I scanned him. Boy, did I screw up big time. There was so little time left, and I did this to us. I couldn’t have waited a day before transfer. I had to put in my request now! OK, so I can be a thoughtless idiot. “Stefan! Stephanie!” I whispered.

“Ayuh?” He got out, just barely.

I closed my eyes. “I concede. You can have me, but please keep your word on keeping my virginity in tact, and please change gender.”

Stefan took on the feminine form, she got out of bed, put her boots back on, unbuttoned her shirt, threw that on the foot of the bed, and she stripped me of my tunic. Else would come later.

She started out with a backrub. She progressed to more intimate contact very slowly, in a ritualised artistic fashion, and it wasn’t anything like what I’d expected. She was quite polished in her technique, and I wasn’t divested of my sense of dignity in the slightest. The influence of Keith and Thanatos’ style on her very strong, and I did appreciate that.

We were completely connected from a telepathic-empathic perspective, and due to a combination of experimentation, and Stefan wanting to really make the moment last, she drew the procedure out a bit more than I’d have preferred, but the end result did feel pretty good. I thought it was over-rated, but I could live with it once in a while. I liked the other things we did so much better, though. They meant more to me.

We didn’t go Astral, after that. We just fell asleep in each other’s arms, and Stephanie was still half dressed.



*****



Stephanie was the first one to wake up, and I had the pleasure of getting woken up via getting my hair stroked. Stef was in the masculine again, and fully dressed, and I’d had the blankets thrown over me. I smiled. “Hiya Stef.”

“Now, was that so bad?”

“No, but I don’t want to do it all the time.”

“Still, thank you. I’ve been wanting to do that to you since I was in my twenties as a mortal. Now, when do you want to go Astral?”

I stretched, got out from under the covers, materialised a new set of clothes onto myself, and dematerialise the ones that were all over the floor, bed, whatever. “If you want to spend the rest of the day in a rather sedate state, we could do that now. Or we can do the lighter mental merging down here, now too.”

“Your call. I already experienced what I want to convey to you.”

“I’m kind of like, I don’t know what I want to do. I’m feeling extraordinarily lazy, right now. I don’t want to do anything, or think about anything.”

“Except kick back, and go through four or five cups of tea?!”

“At least.”

“Couch?”

“How about the new meeting room with the circular couch? Transfer?”

“Sure.”



*****



I lit all the fireplaces, and we snuggled into each other, with each of us having one arm wrapped around the other. “Does your present state of mind have anything to do with what just happened between us?” asked Stefan.

“Don’t think so.” I materialised a cup of masala chi with ghee and cream. “This happens every now and then. I just don’t want to do anything.”

Stefan went for un-creamed genmai cha. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

“And I love your style.”

“Well, we all know who to thank for that.”

“Thanatos, by any other name.”

“I am so glad you fell for him those many millennia in the past,” said Stefan

“Same. Maybe after I get out of my doldrums we can hit the ice. We were going to do that earlier, but we somehow forgot about it.”

“We’ve been dropping a lot of things lately, huh?”

“I noticed. I’ve been so hooked on you lately, that nothing else seems to matter. Sort of like what you were going through with me when you were alive.”

“I’m hooked on both you and Thanatos.”

“I’ve been hooked on Thanatos since the day we met again in this incarnation of mine.” I wished he were here, now.

“I feel I’ve regressed a little, due to this state of mind. Or are we making up for lost time? I mean; until now, all we’ve done is a lot of G-rated snogging.”

“Stefan, I honestly, truly, wholeheartedly prefer that G-rated snogging to the single direct sexual encounter we had. However, what you do for me when you take me ‘to the land of no cares’, so to speak, there is NOTHING that can beat that. It’s my drug of choice. Now, that may be the problem. It feels so damn good, that I can’t get enough, and I’m thinking about the next time even now.”

Stefan brought his forehead against mine. I inhaled sharply, picking up his now perpetual Drakkar scent, and revelling in it. He said, “I’d like to give into it.”

“Will we ever outgrow it, or just die the figurative death of a love-junkie?”

He backed off, and had a sip of tea. “Is this a series of questions for Thanatos?”

“Stef, the philosophers say that we are not supposed to fight ourselves. We are not supposed to have any internal conflicts.”

“Even it that means we’re not going to get off a soft horizontal surface for the next two hundred years?”

I just had to laugh. “Ye gods, Stef. You really come up with them, although that is a good point. Only two hundred years, though?”

“Oh, let’s finish the tea and hit the ice, whether we want to or not. We can make out later.”

“I’m going to try and figure out how Thanatos brought the electric blue aura down with him. I think I can do that for us.”

“It’ll be a trip, if you can.”



*****



Macha, Kevin and Thanatos were sitting in the cozy room dedicated to Switzerland. Macha was in the middle, of course. “I feel different. Better.”

Thanatos looked at her. “I think we’re almost at the point of where we can do our own personal clean-up here, and get ready to get out of here. You’ve moved along faster than I figured you would.”

“I’ve been very strongly motivated,” said Macha. “I mean, why make everyone else suffer for my own shortcomings, huh?”

“Not to mention what use you might make of everyone’s rapidly changing relationships, mi’lady?” asked Thanatos, before kissing her on the forehead.

She did her best to look absolutely stunned and innocent. “Did I say that?”

Kevin lost it. Through his laughter, he managed to get out, “Macha, in some ways you will never change!”

“Well, whatever. The lady dragon has come to terms with herself. She’s seen the light. I have a few more things to take care of, and we can be on our way. Another home, another era, another identity, and a completely fresh start.”



*****



The skating session bombed. Yes, I got us surrounded by electric blue light as we did our routines, or should I say, ‘attempted’ to do our routines, for all it mattered. We were so distracted, we were so unsynchronised, so sloppy, and Stefan even took a few falls. It was hard to take the session seriously, we ended up laughing at our stupid mistakes, and I almost hit the ice myself every time that Stefan lost his footing, although for different reasons. His falls weren’t that spectacular, and his current clutziness was a bit on the amusing side, so I couldn’t help but laugh.

Needless to say, we cut the endeavour short. It was a complete waste of time.

We got into our regular boots before we left the ice, and managed to get on the floor without falling. Stefan immediately materialised his cloak, and we headed down the hall, both with an arm around each other. “Wanna go to Kush?” asked Stefan.

“Comfy, and not too far off. Sure.”

“When we face Ahau Kankin, let’s go to Mexico.”

“Fitting.”

“I wanna go to Baja, though. An isolated beach, maybe?”

“Fine by me,” I said. “It’ll be warm in December.”

“Hopefully, provided the HAARP system doesn’t turn everything on its rear.”

“I think we’ll be OK. Two doors down.”

“I remember.”

“We never go there.”

“That’s the idea,” said Stefan.

We walked in, and made ourselves comfortable. Stefan had unclasped his cloak, he switched gender, and I sat beside ‘her’, and rested my head in the crook of her left arm. “I wonder if we can motivate ourselves to stay awake after this. We’ve been sleeping a lot.”

“I guess we can decide after we get there, but we probably won’t want to.”

“I wonder if this sort of behaviour is acceptable in The White City?” I asked.

“Don’t know. It’s awfully exclusive, selfish, and hedonistic. At the same time, I don’t know whether to feel bad about it. It’s the most beautiful thing I can think of. So damn addictive, though, and I’ve...well, except for the tea rituals, I’ve never been a slave to any kind of desire like this, before this.”

“Oh, haven’t you?” I asked. “Like go back to your Shannon days, babe.”

“Oh, yeah. But what’s the excuse, now? New toy?”

“I think we’ll ask Thanatos. Later, though.”

“Hm. Oh, yeah!” whispered Stephanie, as she put her left hand in my hair, and closed her eyes.

“Uh, I think it’s later now,” came a voice I had not expected.

I flinched, sat up, and pulled Stephanie toward myself. “Thanatos! Now?”

“Uh, yeah.” He had been standing behind the sofa, and he walked around to the front of it, and sat beside us.

“How long have you been there?” I asked him.

“Long enough to hear you say that you’ll ask me later.”

“You couldn’t have come here just a couple of minutes earlier?!”

“Donn Ui’Midir, what is wrong with you?! Why in the Hell are you so embarrassed over being caught in something where I’ve done the same damn thing?! Something we talk about freely, even?!” He sent me, ‘Babe! I’m not being obnoxious! You need me here now. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.’

I looked at Stephanie, and eased my hold on her enough, so she could sit up straight, and she chose to do just that. She also extended her right hand to Thanatos, and they intertwined fingers. I looked at both of them. “Stupidity.” I said, answering his verbal question. “Now that you’re here, can you talk to us about our problem?”

“You can fix it here, or our next locale. It doesn’t matter.”

“So what is the problem?” I asked.

Thanatos shrugged. “You’ve gotten lost in each other. No big deal. By the way, it would also be advisable to get yourselves ready for transfer, pretty soon. Clean up the last of your cases pending transfer to the Otherworld, and such. Do what you gotta do, and see what you gotta see for the last time. I’m going to be settling the animals very shortly, and letting them know they will have a new primary residence.”

“Will we ever be able to visit Tech Duinn again?” asked Stephanie, as she pulled her hand gently out of the mutual clasp she had with Thanatos.

“You won’t want to,” said Thanatos. “Everything you have here that you want is in The White City.”

“Electrical storms?” I asked.

“Except that. No weather. Static temperature. You aren’t going to be able to freeze your butts off by going for a ride in the freezing rain, or just walking around in the winter, and jumping into a heated whirlpool to warm up, but you guys haven’t done that in forever anyway, so I figured that wasn’t even a loss.”

“That’s not a problem with me, but I would miss the light shows,” I said.

Thanatos shrugged, “So, if the electrical storms don’t go to you, you go to them. Go to another world, and watch them in techni-colour. You can find star maps, and information on other worlds there, up to what colour the lightning is. There’s a lot more data in the libraries of The City than you can hope to find here, and only real information will be found on the reference shelves. How things actually are, you know? Not garbage edited by the so called ruling classes.”

“Isn’t the Akashic Library faster?” asked Stephanie.

“Yes, but sometimes reading about it is more fun,” said Thanatos. “For your state of development, any way.”

“I believe it,” said Stefan.

Thanatos sighed. “So, now that I interrupted your make-out session, how do you two feel at the moment?”

I scowled. “OK. Kind of almost back to normal.”

“And what will you two do when I leave?”

I thought for a moment. “Probably talk about what you said, and then resume what you interrupted.”

He reached forward, and caressed both of our heads. “All you have to do to snap out of it completely, is do what Stefan did before IT adopted ITS new uniform. Meditate, and focus on yourselves as an entity apart, and self-contained. For now, why don’t you hold off on that a little, and continue your light weight debauchery.”

I scowled again. “Say what?”

“You heard me.” Thanatos said aloud, before sending me, ‘Now I’m being obnoxious.’ He stroked Stephanie's hair alone, as he smiled and winked at her. “By the way, Donn has come to the conclusion he no longer needs to be modified.” With that, he immediately disappeared.

Stephanie pounced.

“AIIIIYAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! THANATOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

















Chapter 11





After the initial ‘attack’, which ended up more of an idle threat for show, than anything else, Stephanie backed off. “Do you even want me, right now?”

I shook my head. “No. Not like that. I’d rather focus on you, and not a sensation."

“That is such a sweet statement. You are beyond reality.”

“Stef, you are the same way. When you took me, you didn’t let me do anything with you. You just went over me with a fine tooth comb, appreciating the form I wear to it’s fullest, and sending me as close to the other side of sanity as an individual can.”

“What’s that mean?! I thought you culminated.” (It’s real hard to tell, when you emit no physical evidence, and you react as little as possible.)

“I did, but I found I don’t get lost in the experience. It makes me happier, and drives me closer to delirium when you just hold me, -censored- me, and take over all my cares.”

Stephanie smiled, closed her eyes, and lowered her head. She pressed herself against me. “Ye gods, lets do that now. After we snap out of it, let’s clean up our psychopompery, have our last bit of fun here, and let’s get ready to go.”

I held her tight. “So much for talking about the stuff Thanatos told us.”

“We’ll work on it later.”

“Hm!”



*****



Stephanie snapped out of the post-make out sedated state first, shifted back to his masculine façade, and transferred himself back to his room. “This isn’t going to work. I’m not waiting any more for something that’s not going to be there,” he said in a low voice. He dragged his incomplete painting out of the closet, along with Thanatos’ identical one. He beckoned Thanatos. “I have to finish this now.”

“I’ve been waiting to hear that. You’ve cut it awfully close.”

“I’m showing Donn, as soon as it’s complete. Can you help me with the expression on the face?”

“Sure can. He’ll love it.”

Painting me took three times as long as painting Thanatos, but this time, Stefan didn’t issue one complaint. He just did his work with as much determination as possible, and the finished product was as good as anything hanging on the walls of Tech Duinn.

Needless to say, after Stefan and Thanatos finished their paintings, both of them took a lengthy respite, before Thanatos time tripped Stefan back to when he’d faded from my side. He’d left his painting at the foot of the bed, and put Thanatos’ version back in the closet.



*****



Stefan transferred himself and me to his bed. I slept through it. He knew it was better to let me sleep it off, but it was hard for him. He moved the painting against the wall, on the floor.

Stefan just sat there, and stared at me for a little while. He ended up losing his willpower, and lay behind me, putting an arm around me. He nosed my hair. “Babe,” he whispered. “Feel like waking up yet?”

I couldn’t sleep through that. I knew the room was darker. I swallowed. “Where are we?”

“My room. I did a painting. I wanted to transfer the expression on your face during a sexual rapture to the painting, but I don’t think it’ll ever happen, so I just finished it, and I might as well show it to you now.”

I looked up at him. “If you painted us having sex, not only will that guarantee I will never have sex with you again, but I will not ever pet your nose again.”

Stefan chuckled. “I can live without the sex, but I’d about die without the nose pets. Now why don’t you face forward, and look at the painting?”

I did. “Gods above and below! Stefan!”

“Thanatos helped me. There’s another one just like it in the closet. I don’t know how to paint that good, so he led me, step by step, and brushstroke by brushstroke.”

I gently grabbed a hold of him. “Ye gods, that’s beautiful.” I scanned him. “The symbolism! All those years of longing for him, and the ascension to The White City, and...and...oh, Stefan...” Yes, my eyes sprung a leak.

Of course, Stefan held me, in turn. The eternal consoler, when needed. He took Keith and Thanatos’ place nicely when he was called upon. He stroked my hair, and suddenly a woman was holding me. “Like a slightly softer version of me?” she asked. Very slightly.

I slid down her a little, and she placed her chin on my head. “Gods, yes,” I said.

“I’m glad you like the painting, love.”

“Stephanie! For you to put so much of yourself out for me! I feel horrible about myself!”

“Donn, you’re perfect! Why?”

“That request I made of you on how I want to leave this era! That was so selfish. I don’t think I want to do that. I’m disgusted with myself.”

“Why? What was wrong with it?”

I sniffled. “Here I am, telling you all about how I prefer to focus on you as a lover, and I ask you to completely serve me when transferring to the other side. No, let’s not do that.”

She kissed me on the top of the head. “I’d love doing that to you.”

I looked up at her. “I have a better idea.”

“Yes?”

“When we finally consummate our relationship, I just want to face you, hold you tight, be connected, be one in mind, and maybe do a little of what you won’t let me write about.”

Stef herself lost a couple of tears. “That is such a gorgeous idea. That's like what me and Thanatos did once.”

“And I want to get to Baja early, so we can really make out, and I can fight back a little, huh? I want to do some of the work, when the time comes. I mean, I know how, huh? I’ve been one with Keith.”

Stephanie kissed me on the forehead. “Once you said you wanted to die a virgin. If you consider yourself dead after transfer, what do I call you in The White City?”

I pressed the side of my face against her chest. “How about Vergil Xanon?”

If she held me any tighter, we’d be fused. “You’re kidding?!”

“You love that name, and it’s grown on me, but let’s wait until we get there, huh?”

“Sounds like you’ve become more open minded.”

“I think I’ve just gotten more un-neurotic. Let go of a bit of mental trash. After we’ve had enough of our current interlude, I think we should really get to work, though. We’ve been postponing playing spirit guides long enough.”

“At least we haven’t been invoked.”

“Maybe we won’t have that many cases.”



*****



We had one hundred eighty six between us, and we worked separately. I’d never had a harder time focusing on my job in all my existence. It was torture. I’ve never been so happy to see it come to an end.



*****

Thanatos was in his flat, as he picked Percy up. He kissed the cat on top of the head. “Kitten, you’re not going back to Tech Duinn anymore. There won’t be a reason for it.”

Percy trilled a response.

“Yeah, you’ve got all your friends here, anyway. I guess you can go off and play, now. I’ve got to get the horses, OK?”

Percy nosed Thanatos’ nose.

Thanatos smiled. “See you later, too.” He put the cat down, and was off.



*****



Macha was walking the halls with Kevin. “So, you’re finished here,” said Macha. “Nothing else you want to do?”

“Nothing I can think of.”

“One final picnic in the garden, or one final whirl in the spa?”

“The White City is Etheric. We can still eat there, and make out in scented water. Is there anything you can think of that we can’t do there?”

Macha said, “Go up to the tower, and look at Ireland.”

“Say good-bye to the past, and our old identities?”

“Sure! Good-by, late great planet Earth, huh? Never to come back.”

“What’s going to happen to Tech Duinn?” asked Kevin.

“We’ll have to ask Thanatos. I wonder if it will remain as a monument of a bygone era?”

“Well, if there’s no time, I guess it will stand forever.”

“I wonder how long it will take before I stop thinking sequentially?”

“I can’t think of any other way to think.”

Macha chuckled. “Neither can I. How’s about we go up to the tower, and have one final pig out session on peach pie, whipped cream, and mead? Then we time trip forward to Ahau Kankin?”

“Sounds like a great idea. I just know one thing.”

“What?”

“When we go, I want Thanatos at my side.”

“I second that motion. Also, oh hell! Let’s go to the whirlpool one last time before the time trip.”

“Macha, can I ask you for a favour?”

“Sure can.”

“Can you not be mad at me if I become a woman for the transfer?”

“Kev, you know how Donn and Stefan are? Stefan’s a dude, unless those two get intimate? Maybe we should do that, considering you’re so much happier as a woman?”

Kevin immediately switched to the feminine. “Do you know how absolutely thrilled that makes me?”

Macha put her arm around ‘Kevalyn’s’ waist. “OK, so I have a girl friend. One who’s cute enough to keep what’s left of my ego at bay, huh?”

Kevalyn chuckled. “Macha, I love you beyond the furthest reaches of Stefan’s nostrils.”

“Oooooh! Compliments don’t come any more intense than that.”

“I know. Let’s get us up that tower for our last meal.”

Macha laughed. “Good one. Let’s.”



*****



When Stefan and I finished our jobs, we simply collapsed on the old couch together. I was still in my white robe, and Stefan was still in his Druid garb. This last stint on the job was the most painful event I could recollect, outside of the moment I found out my mother had been killed, considering all that time I had to spend away from Stefan and Thanatos. The hollowness I felt in their absence felt like me being eaten alive, inside out.

“Never again!” said Stefan.

“This is the first time I hated being Gate Keeper. Yeah, I think it’s a good time to retire. Being without you is like a mortal being without air.”

“Or a nose without nostrils.”

I had to laugh. “Stefan, what would I do without you, or your insanity?”

Stefan smiled at me, and put his arm around me. “Donn, you are as crazy as I am. Maybe not quite in the same way, but close enough.”

“Probably. Red Tail, what do you think is going to happen when we hit the end time?”

“I have no idea. Maybe on second we’ll be on a beach in Baja, and the next, somewhere else. I haven’t a clue.”

I scowled. “I wonder where we could end up? I don’t want to end up in the middle of Town Square, in the compromised position I’d like us to theoretically be in.”

Stefan said, “So we’ll wrap a blanket around us. Like, do you even think anyone would care? In The White City of all places? I mean, most people aren’t like you, you know? They haven’t been celibate for over twenty thousand years.”

“I’m still a little sensitive on the subject. New ground, you know?”

“Please don’t change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

“Will you miss this place?”

“I don’t think so. Not much, anyway. To me, it’s kind of like an old drawing is to you. Something you might have had on your wall for twenty years, and it’s getting kind of ratty. Tech Duinn was a great invention for its time, but I’m so damn familiar with it, that I’m not terribly hung up on it any more, you know?”

Stefan changed his clothes back to his usual uniform, though without the cloak and gloves, at present. “I’m keeping these clothes, though.”

I myself went to my tunic. “Same. Comfy get up. Very un-constricting.”

“Donn?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Are we ready to go?”

“I can’t think of anything else.”

“Should we inform everyone that we’re on our way?”

I shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt. Shall we call Thanatos first?”

“Sure.”



*****



“I already brought Macha, Kevalyn, and all the animals are already gone and settled,” said Thanatos.

I scowled. “Oh.”

“So we’re the only ones left. Can you tell us what to expect?” asked Stefan.

“It’ll be less traumatising if you have your eyes closed. You’ll just suddenly feel different. Better. You’ll find yourself inundated with the feelings of love and unity I’ve told you about. The music will always be haunting you, too. You won’t want to live without it.”

“Commercial free, I grant,” said Stefan.

Thanatos shook his head, with a smile. “Stefan, I swear! Anyway, how’s about I make sure you land on the rooftop garden of your new home?”

“Fine, if it’s private,” I said.

“It’s communal, but not often visited by others. Being I have direct access, of course I go there a lot, but that’s from the convenience of having the top floor all to myself.”

“It’s great,” said Stefan. “Hard to believe, but it’s actually more beautiful than the castle. The library’s a lot smaller, but very relevant.”

“OK! Why don’t you two go have your closure, and we’ll be waiting for you, huh?”

I stood up. “Good-bye kiss?”

Thanatos hugged me, and planted one on my cheek. I did the same to him, and he and Stefan had an identical exchange.

I smiled, and said, “OK! See you in a few hours.”

Thanatos waved, and disappeared.

Stefan and I went to central Baja, on December 21, 2012. We had four hours until transfer time, and we brought a wind up alarm clock.



















































































Chapter 12





Our end of the era make-out session wasn’t really anything explosive. We showed our appreciation of each other to the hilt, but it was more empathic-telepathic, than anything. There was a bit more of the mutual exploration, and this time I was quite a bit more attentive of ‘Stephanie’, and we sent each other (and ourselves) over the edge a couple of times in a variety of ways that weren’t all common practise, but I don’t think I’ll write about it.

The alarm clock was set for twenty minutes before transfer time. We ‘connected.’ If I’d had any wild expectations on losing my virginity, I would have been severely disappointed, but I knew better.

I had wrapped the blanket around us, we were in embrace, and our chins rested on each other’s shoulders. The closeness was really nice.

I ran my right hand down Stephanie’s back, and she contracted on me. I held her tight, and she went to work with her rhythmic ‘kegels’. I looked at the alarm clock a few times, and really had to concentrate hard to keep from letting go too early, once. Stephanie knew to ease off.

Yes, we succeeded with the timing.

We were both still holding each other like there was no tomorrow, and I threw my head to the side, wearing a smile with slightly parted lips. Yes, my eyes were closed. Not bad, but hardly the epitome of what I’d experienced with my lover. Yeah, I’d theoretically do it again once in a while. Being one in mind, Stephanie felt everything I felt to the same degree.

When our culmination subsided, we opened our eyes, and looked at each other. We weren’t in Baja any more. “Do you forgive me for not being Thanatos?” she asked.

“Hell no,” I said, “but that’s OK, since I don’t forgive Thanatos for being Thanatos.”

Both of us grinned at first, and then burst into laughter, as we hugged each other real tightly again. Neither one of us had ever felt this good. So at peace, or so blissful, while in a more or less regular state of consciousness, not including when Stephanie took me over in mind. (Being virtually drugged, doesn’t count.)

After it was over, neither Stephanie nor I could believe we'd made such an issue over it.











































Epilogue





The White City was absolute paradise. The inhabitants were wonderful, and yes, we had become quite social. There was so much more information on everything available here, the Astral levels were as easy to access as the park across the street, and we could now stay Astral with no draw to come back. Our vibration levels were high enough, and The Veil was as thin as a piece of cheesecloth, in the here and now. Macha and Kevalyn were still busy exploring the place as I write this.

Me, Stefan and Thanatos got even more into the arts, mostly of the visual type. Of course, Stefan had gotten into painting, after that one which he did of Thanatos and I. Our work was very popular for exhibits, here.

None of us could have been any happier. Heaven in the literal sense does not exist, but this might as well have been it.



*****



Stefan was between Thanatos and I on a four-seater sofa, and Macha and Kevalyn sat across from us. Of course everyone was pretty well intertwined. I looked at Macha and Kev, and smiled. “You have no idea how lovely you two look together.”

“And of course you have no intention of doing anything about it,” said Macha.

“Actually, I do. I’d like to paint you like that.”

“That’s sweet,” said Kevalyn. “Do we need to pose, or do you have a mental freeze frame.”

“I have you down. I’ll start on it in a little bit.”

“Nice being able to be a full time artist without distraction, huh?” asked Stefan.

I kissed him on the cheek. “What are you? Chopped liver?”

“Verrrrgil! I leave you alone now when you paint.”

“Steeeeefan! You watch me like a hungry leopard.”

He rubbed his head against my shoulder. “I love to see the makings of each new masterpiece.”

I looked at Thanatos. “Hey Rhynn! Can you help him watch me do the painting, and maybe pet his nose every few minutes, and keep him happy and occupied so I don’t have to put up with him circling me every fifteen minutes?”

“Not if you call me Rhynn again.”

“Yes, Thanee-poo.”

Everyone busted up, including Thanatos. After Thanatos recovered, he said, “If you’re gonna jump ship, do it without a life preserver, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said.

“Sure,” said Thanatos.



*****



The tale continues...







End of Volume Three

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